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This Too Shall Pass

Bo Brown
| May 19, 2017

“This, too, shall pass.”

How many times have you heard that phrase? I have heard it many times in my life. However, today, I often find myself telling myself this quite often. There is no need to worry; I don’t think I am that crazy. But since I have gotten sober, it seems that I constantly have an ongoing dialogue in my head. I refer to it as thinking quietly before I act or react to life’s certain situations. It is my way of coping with my own sanity.

Today I am thankful for that voice in my head that continually talks me back from that ledge that got me in so much turmoil not too long ago.

Recently, I was in the checkout line in the grocery store on a Friday afternoon. I began to notice that everyone around me was purchasing their libations for the weekend. All around me were people with beer and wine: a typical recovering alcoholic’s nightmare. For a brief moment, I thought to myself, “What makes them different from me? Why can’t I drink responsibly and know when to say enough is enough?”

Then, I flashbacked to my old drinking behavior. On a Friday afternoon, I would usually stop by two stores to get supplies for the weekend. The reason I would go to two stores was to not be judged for purchasing so much alcohol to get through the weekend. Every other day of the week, I would hit a different market just to let them know that I was not a daily customer and I was pacing myself in my habit. The absurdity of that thinking is borderline insane.

It was at that moment that I realized that I can’t drink like the normal person. My life would be unbearable to go back to that skewed way of thinking. It is in these moments that my voice reminds me that “this, too, shall pass.”

Like most addicts, I also suffer from mental health defects. Mine happens to be depression. There are times when I feel like my life is going in the right direction and then I turn a corner and there is my old friend– depression.

My depression is not just a “blue mood” — it can last for days and even weeks. It is during these times that I tend to separate myself from any type of human interaction whenever possible. I isolate myself from the outside world, which can be quite dangerous for the recovering addict.

When these bouts of depression arise, I have to make myself get out of the house and interact with other people. It is during these times that the voice in my head reassures me that “this, too, shall pass.” That little reassurance makes it a little easier to get out and put a stop to the isolation and security of being alone.

Today, I am thankful to have that little voice of reason and sanity in my head. It has replaced the vocabulary that was there during my addiction. Gone are the debilitating words such as “loser” and “worthless”. It is now replaced with a simple phrase that reassures me that everything is fine and life will go on. Life is too short to worry about what could be. So when you are faced with circumstances that make you feel weak and uncomfortable, remember that this, too, shall pass!

If you would like to share your story with Heroes in Recovery, you can contact me at Bo@heroesinrecovery.com. Please feel free to share and comment! I love hearing from my readers. Remember when you share your story you contribute to breaking the stigma associated with substance abuse and mental health disorders.

Much love,

Bo

 

 

 

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