- Friends & Family
Submitted by: Abby Foster
I didn’t volunteer to be an alcoholic. My drinking extravaganza resulted in a lot of trouble and one particular instance landed me in front of a judge who gave me the choice to serve time or go to rehab. Naturally, I chose rehab. When I got there I thought I knew everything, I had everything figured out but I came to learn I knew nothing.
When I witnessed the results a friend of mine had from embracing the treatment program and taking the suggestions given to him such as getting involved, getting a sponsor, a service commitment – all those things, I was sold. He went home, he was self employed, he bought a house and started a family- all things I wanted in life.
When I was able to see the tangible results of recovery, I was all in. I’ve been sober since January 8, 2013.
The foundation of my recovery starts with honesty. I had to get honest with myself. Dishonesty was such a part of me that even I believed my lies. And my lies were keeping me sick. Into my early recovery I had to work on honesty- sometimes having to go back and own up to a simple and unnecessary lie. The program taught me how to do that.
Instead of only thinking of myself I now think of how I can be of service. It’s not just about me and my wants anymore. I hit my knees, put my face to the ground and ask God for humility everyday because without God and a program I am an egotistical maniac. Today I am able to be of service to others and especially to my family.
As my recovery goes on it has become more about emotional sobriety and finding balance in my life. In the past I have had a tendency to hyper focus on things, my fiancé, a new car, the 12 step program instead of seeking balance. That is why sponsorship is so important to me.
Words can’t express how grateful I am for my sponsor. I need to have that honesty and transparency with someone else because I cannot fix me. He helps me see the things I cannot see.
All of the positive changes in my life today are a result of my sobriety. In my old life, I was used to running on self-will, ripping and running the interstates, and living out of hotel rooms. Now, I am a functioning member of society. I make a good living that allows me to have a few gear-head toys and other material luxuries. I have a healthy relationship with my fiancé not some person I’ve taken “hostage”. I never thought that I would have this type of connection with another person or have a family of my own. And I wouldn’t without my sobriety. But, recovery has given me something so much greater than just the tangible stuff it has given me freedom. I don’t have to worry when I travel- will I have enough drugs or booze? I no longer have to plan everything out. I have the true freedom to go anyplace where any normal person walks freely without being a prisoner to my disease.