Positive and Forward
The year 2018 is here! I will honestly tell you that I am glad. One thing that stays consistent in recovery is change. Daily, weekly, monthly change– 2017 was huge for me. I learned to stand on my own two feet alone, meaning, that I made some major life changes without relapsing.
God always does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. God placed some amazing people in my life career-wise that gave me the opportunity to do what I love: work with others. Relationship doors closed but big, bay windows opened my eyes to a change in scenery.
This year, I will have been sober for eight years. I see growth, I see stability, I see stepping back and not reacting but responding. The one major thing I can say that I learned last year was to truly have that faith that I talk about so much. I actually walked what I talk. I dealt with depression and anxiety and got my medicine balanced. I took up serious running and really changed my food intake. I took care of myself emotionally and physically and this year will be working on in-depth spiritual cleansing. I walked away from what wasn’t healthy and toxic. I’ve learned to set boundaries with acquaintances and learned how to be cordial instead of being rude to those who hurt my feelings.
I have learned who I am. I have learned what I need (not want), and which people, places, and things are healthy for me and not-so healthy for me. I have been let down and feelings hurt by loved ones, but have learned over the past few years to not carry such high expectations of others. I have grown to know and trust some cool women in recovery and I know when I share with them, it stays with them, not everyone around. I had the opportunity to work for our family business this past year. How grateful I am to be a part of it all.
For a long time now, I have a had a big goal to open a sober living business. I accomplished and received my Level Two background check in mid-December of 2017. I am grateful for the letters of support from friends who came out to help when I needed them. Achieving this was huge for me in many ways.
I have learned some financial lessons as well. These were some of the hardest for me, if I can be honest. In my addiction, I made some very stupid choices. At the time, I barely knew what I was doing. I still occasionally make poor decisions despite being sober, but these days, my decisions are no longer “stupid” because my honest heart is behind them. I am a work in progress (as we are all).
The two words that head this blog are “positive” and “forward”. The words came from my brother Brian. He says this all the time when I talk to him about life, my decisions (good and bad) and my future. You see, I don’t think most of us realize the gift of today. It’s called the present. We get to unwrap it every 24 hours and enjoy. We get to embrace it, play in it and live life on life’s terms.
I want to humbly thank Foundations Recovery Network and Heroes in Recovery. You gave me the opportunity to be a part of some amazing recovery events. I came out of my shell and was able to talk to people and listen to life-changing stories that are nothing short of miracles. Thank you for allowing me to share with you in 2017. I am beyond grateful!