Tis the Season to be Grateful
December is the month that most of us enjoy! The holidays are upon us and family members gather to celebrate the Christmas season. There is something magical about this time of year. Most of us remember that favorite present and the magic of Santa Claus as a young child. Many of us think of the loved ones who have passed and are no longer with us. It is a season that is filled with emotions, memories and in some cases, stressful situations. Sometimes, as we get older, current holidays may fail in comparison to our memories of the past. As the holiday approaches, I think fondly of past memories and look forward the new ones I have yet to experience as I live my life clean and sober.
Two years ago, I spent Christmas in a sober living facility in Palm Springs, California. I had just completed thirty days in an inpatient facility and was too scared and a little shaky to go back to my old life and familiar surroundings. It was also the first Christmas I had ever spent away from my family. It was a little hard to get into the holiday season with eighty degree weather and in sunny, southern California…but I did my best. The day was filled with outpatient treatment, Christmas dinner and 12 Step meetings. It was not your typical Christmas, but it was a time of growing and self- discovery. It was exactly the gift I needed that holiday season.
Unfortunately, it was the last Christmas my dad had before he passed away. I missed that and I will never get it back. I will always remember his Christmas traditions like making breakfast, joking around and his ability to set the auto-timer on the camera as we all huddled around the tree for the traditional family portrait. It pains me that I missed that day. However, I was lucky enough to spend the last months of his life with him and he saw me sober and getting stronger each day. My dad was not a man that could handle or show his emotions, but I believe that he was proud of me and that being clean was the best gift I could have given him. For those few months, I am grateful.
This year Christmas will be a small gathering of me, my sister and my mom. We have a lot to be grateful about this year. This Christmas will not be about presents. This will be the first year that BOTH my sister and I will be sober for the holidays. I can’t think of a better gift to give my mom and my dad. I know he will be there in spirit and smiling knowing that we are together and doing well. You always have to believe and have faith in yourself and others!
Happy Holidays!
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Much Love,
Bo