By Jordan Young, lead advocate for Heroes in Recovery
Heroes in Recovery is a movement with the purpose of bringing addiction out of the closet and into the open to help people get over the stigma associated with addiction. The mission of a Lead Advocate is to try to inspire others to share their story of recovery. It’s only fitting that my hero in recovery, who has inspired me in my worst struggles, be the first person I interview.
What were you like?
“I was like an adult child. Having participated in some level of abuse of alcohol or drugs from an early age, I learned that I could do that and not have to deal with life in general. I have a good family, don’t get me wrong; there was just a lot of turmoil in my home growing up. I was using at an early age, before I ever developed a sense of how to deal with life. I always felt out of place. I never felt I belonged with any group in school, or anywhere else for that matter, unless it was a group of people who were drinking or using drugs of some kind. When I did that, I always felt I belonged. I did end up dropping out of school, probably a common thing with a lot of us. I was able to be marginally successful, but only because I was unbelievably stubborn. I found a way to keep that going for a long time.”
What brought you to the doorstep of recovery?
“I gave up on giving up. There was nothing else I felt I could try. I felt I had tried everything in the world to quit that lifestyle. I had lost all respect for myself. I had lost all hope that I could do it on my own. I had been trying for so long. I arrived at a turning point, if for nothing else, out of desperate necessity.”
How did you feel about getting to the point that you were ready to make a change?
“Once I got to the point that I was willing to ask for help, I felt great about it. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt great about my chances for the first time in a long time. That being said, a lot of that feeling of the weight being taken off my shoulders was because of the kind of help I was getting. My family being on board was a huge, huge benefit. I’m really humbled because my family is so supportive. A lot of people don’t have that.
“Once I got into treatment, everywhere I looked, everyone was helpful. I met groups of successful people in recovery and that just amped things up for me mentally. Within five days I was really enjoying myself. Physically, I was in bed for a few days. It was nothing like I thought it would be. It was so much better in that environment, which psychologically made the physical part better. I didn’t have any severe problems in detox and I promise you, I owe it all to that positive environment.”
What did you do to keep that positive change in yourself?
“Starting from day one, I’m so grateful for the mindset of reaching out to as many people as possible while in treatment. Anytime I heard anyone say anything I liked, I would literally chase them down and get their number. I had a TON of numbers after 28 days. My saving grace to this day has been being able to receive that help. That feeling of being able to receive help started for me when, of all things, another grown man told me he loved me, to keep coming back, and they would love me until I could love myself. That was the first spiritual experience this program showed me, the principle of brotherly love.”
What is life like now?
“I’ve been thrown a few curveballs in my recovery. I never expected to get clean, sober, healthy, happy, and really on my way, only to be diagnosed with a central nervous system condition, then have to readjust. What that has done for me is give me so much more awareness of myself, awareness of my core nature, so much more appreciation for the positive influences I’ve received in recovery. I never put any conditions on my sobriety. I never told myself, ‘As long as I can have the job I want. As long as I can have the relationship I want. As long as good things happen to me because I’m sober, I’m going to stay sober.’ I never told myself that. If I could point one thing out to people, it’s don’t put conditions on your sobriety. Don’t expect blessings to rain down on you just because of your sobriety. The blessings will come, but maybe not what you expect.”
How would you put a bow around sobriety?
“The most important thing I can say is, don’t be a victim of stigma. Stigma is only good for two things, guilt and shame…and those aren’t any good for anybody. On top of that, the earlier in your recovery you can embrace prayer and meditation to develop a positive mindset and closer contact with God, the better. From there it’s just taking time daily to create quiet reflection in your life. That mindset, and being able to recognize your old thinking with the help of the steps and people in your sober community, is really powerful.”