by Sue Felices
When your life has been impacted by a disease like addiction, the path you follow brings all kinds of new people into your life. It also reinforces the relationships that you already have. Many of these people will become your heroes because they are in recovery or because they are willing to support and guide others to reach the goal of recovery. The person I have always been able to count on, who has been a hero for me throughout our walk with addiction, is my brother Richard. At the times I most needed to talk things out, I could always pick up the phone and call him. He listens and lets me talk and talk and talk. Patiently he lets me hear myself, then asks questions that help me sort out whatever it is I am struggling with. When he comes to visit, he provides me with the reprieve I need from life by going and doing whatever it is I want to at the time. And in the car, once again he listens and lets me talk and talk and talk.
Richard and I are 6 years apart. We have always shared a close and loving relationship. I am fortunate to have that protective older brother you hear about in stories. He has been able to be there for me and my family as he is no stranger to living life with a stigma attached to it. He is gay. I believe his compassion for me and my family comes from the example my parents set for us. Their love for him came before his lifestyle. This was at a time when the stigma attached to a gay lifestyle was being challenged publicly and education and awareness was limited. My parents may not have understood or agreed totally, but they were open-minded enough to learn about and accept his lifestyle. They loved him and his partner no differently than they loved my family. Richard’s love for me and my family comes before addiction and its challenges.
We have talked about what this experience changed for him and what he has learned through this process. Richard definitely understands that addiction is a disease, and he is aware of what this does to the individual and how the family is impacted. He sees its far-reaching effects. He reads more about it than he might have otherwise. Being part of the gay community, he does not have blinders on. Addiction is prevalent; and members of that community, no different than in any other community, psychologically use substances to escape or to numb their feelings from issues they are not coping with. My brother talks more openly with me now when he is in need of an ear. We have become closer.
When I told him about Heroes in Recovery and about my role as a Lead Advocate, he was excited and happy for me and thought it was the right challenge for me. He supports the need to remove the stigma of addiction and to create awareness for the need for treatment. He respects the courage it takes to live out a passion. He believes in what I am doing. What more could I ask for?
Richard, thank you for always picking up the phone. You are my hero and I love you.