- Drugs
by Patty
I spent four years depending on something I thought made me happy—something I thought I needed to survive. That something was pills and heroin.
Here is my story: I started dating this guy. I came to find out that he was into pills, so I tried it, and I didn’t like the feeling. But I thought that I would try it again, and I loved it. I never thought I would be the kind of person who would get addicted to drugs. I denied it for a very long time; I said I could stop whenever I wanted to. But that was not the case.
So as my addiction went on, I did really messed up things to my friends and family. I would do anything I had to do to get the money I needed to feel normal for the day. My family was heartbroken that I was in a relationship with this guy who abused me. They all knew I was doing drugs, but I always told them they were crazy and that I was doing really good. They watched me drop 50 pounds and look the worst that I could look, even though I thought I looked great.
So then I came to find out that my boyfriend was doing heroin behind my back. I was really upset and told him I couldn’t believe he was doing that. The next day he told me to try it and that I would love the feeling. He said if I loved him, I would just do a little bit. So I did. I know that I could have said no, but I wanted that great first time high again. And from that day on I was doing heroin every day. I knew that it was only going to get worse. I didn’t know how to tell my family how bad I was and ask them for help. But one day I said, “This is enough.” My mom was in Italy visiting family, and I called her and said I wanted to go there. I booked my ticket to stay there for two weeks. Once I got there, it was not good. I was so sick, I couldn’t eat, sleep, move, hold a conversation or anything. I wanted to leave that first night, but I knew I couldn’t. As the days went on, it got better. I stopped calling my boyfriend, and my brother came there to see me. I decided to stay there, and I ended up being there for three months.
I am now seven months clean and feel great. I had time to figure myself out. I no longer speak to my ex, and he is now in jail. I am so thankful that I have a great family and that they never left my side. Every day is a challenge, but it gets easier and easier. I just want everyone who suffers from addiction to know this: you can do it. And it does feel better to wake up sober and ready to get things done than to wake up sick wondering how you are going to get your next high.