- Alcohol
- Faith
Submitted by Jordan Young
I always felt as though I didn’t fit in with any group of people and had trouble with relationships. I always felt I was less than others. I didn’t know who I was, so alcohol helped me feel that I was a part of the crowd I was in and helped me be whoever the crowd wanted me to be. My last two years of drinking brought on a loneliness I couldn’t understand. I disliked myself and was ashamed because I could not handle drinking like everyone else. I spend a lot of time wondering why I was on this earth because I couldn’t figure out what my purpose was. I was able to recognize that I wasn’t happy. I missed social obligations, let down my family, and my marriage suffered.
After an embarrassing, drunken episode at my husband’s country club, he suggested that I do something about my drinking. I checked myself into a treatment center on a Sunday afternoon. I was relieved that maybe, just maybe, I would stop drinking. I knew long before I got into treatment that I was an alcoholic, but I couldn’t find the strength to do anything about it. After 30 days, I finished residential treatment and things started to look a little better. I did the things I was taught to do while in treatment. I attended 90 meetings in 90 days. I got a sponsor, called her every day, and did whatever she suggested. I had finally reached the point where I was ready to do whatever it took to stay sober.
My life today, almost two years later, is quite different. I have a Higher Power who leads me on a daily basis. I have no desire to drink, but I know I am only one drink away from being drunk and possibly ruining my life. I attend a minimum of five meetings per week, I talk with my sponsor on a regular basis, and I sponsor others. Life is still life. It’s not perfect, but working a 12-Step program has freed me from my past. My past is still there, but I have forgiven myself for the mistakes I made, and I use my past to help others who may be taking the same path I took. Recovery and Alcoholics Anonymous have given me a new way of life. The biggest lesson I have learned is to take life and sobriety one day at a time. I have found that if I trust my Higher Power and put others first, the world is a more peaceful place.