Submitted by Jordan, Heroes in Recovery lead advocate
What were the struggles that lead you to seek a change?
“I was on a fast path to self-destruction. I no longer cared about living. I didn’t want to commit suicide, but I didn’t really want to live anymore. So the people around me stepped in and told me they thought I needed some help. I didn’t really think the drinking and the drugs were my problem. I thought everything else was my problem, but to prove them wrong, I said, ‘Okay, I’ll go get the help you think I need, and when I get home, the problems will still be the same.’ I kind of tricked myself into doing it, but it turned to be the best thing I’ve ever done.”
What was the process of seeking treatment like?
“My brother, sister, and wife planned an intervention and got me into a treatment center. I wasn’t happy about the way they presented it to me. They took me to the treatment center and I didn’t want to stay. I went back home and thought about it a while. I came to the conclusion that they had put a lot of work into it, so I decided to do what they wanted me to do. The funny thing is, after four or five hours of being there alone, reading the Big Book, I knew I was exactly where I belonged.”
Once you realized you had found your place, what changes did you make in your behavior and attitude?
“I became a lot more open to what people were suggesting to me. I became willing to try the things that were suggested to me by the people at the treatment facility, and other people who had gotten sober themselves. I completely changed the way I had been thinking about things. When I got out of the residential program, it was recommended that I attend a five-week outpatient program, which I did. I tried to give it everything I had because I wanted to get as much out of it as I possibly could. I’m really proud that I was able to go through with that step.
What do you do now to keep yourself sober, and what is life like now?
“Life is still life. There are still a lot of downs. It’s still hard to deal with, but I try to reach out to people who seem to have a good grasp on what it takes to stay sober. I try to reach out to them. I try to listen to them. I try to surround myself with those types of people. I attend meetings regularly and read my big book regularly. I have a sponsor and am working through the twelve steps.”
What advice would you give to someone currently battling an addiction?
“I’d say they’re fighting a losing battle if they’re doing it on their own. I always thought it was a matter of willpower, a matter of strength, to quit the things that were getting me down. I could always quit drinking, but my use of drugs just went up. Or I could quit using drugs, but my drinking just went up. Nothing I did on my own could keep me sober. The only way I am sober today is through the help of other people, so reaching out for help is definitely my advice for somebody fighting addiction. The odds are that you’re not going to be able to do it alone.”