- Alcohol
- Mental Health
Submitted by Wendy Lee Nentwig
Rick’s recovery journey started in February 2012 when he checked into treatment. He had no long history of addiction, but within a relatively short period of time, life events had pushed him to a place he never could have imagined.
A respected police officer and father, Rick’s life began to unravel with the unwanted and unexpected end of his 20-year marriage. It wasn’t a polite divorce either. Rick’s wife filed a “no contact” order, and her new boyfriend immediately filed a report. This always-upstanding police officer then found himself behind bars. He was quickly released, but Rick’s frustration over the situation led him to make comments in the heat out of the moment that were taken out of context, and he was was rearrested – this time in front of his daughter.
Enter alcohol. Rick started drinking as way to not feel his pain. It worked initially, but it also made him hyper-vigilant and paranoid. He was afraid of getting arrested again. A deep depression followed, and Rick lost all his coping skills. He also lost all faith in the system he had served for 26 years and felt betrayed.
Others around him, including those on the force, noticed the negative changes and became concerned. Someone in Rick’s department who was in treatment gave him a number and suggested he call for help. But cops don’t easily give up control. They develop an attitude that tells them they can take care of their own problems; they can handle anything that comes up. That may make them successful police officers out in the field, but it can wreak havoc on their personal lives, especially when it comes to alcohol or substance abuse.
Rick was eventually put on administrative leave and felt cut off from the rest of the department. At the same time, he was wrestling with the broken promises left in the wake of his divorce. He was nearing rock bottom.
“You swear you’re gonna stay married and you give your word, then you stay married,” he argued. But hanging on to what could or should have been was only working against him and his recovery. He finally gave in and asked for help, spending 30 days at a treatment center in Memphis, Tennessee.
When his wife told him she was leaving, Rick’s initial response was, “ ‘What am I gonna do now? What can I do?’ When I left treatment, that question had changed to ‘What can’t I do?’” he says. “It took me a while to realize it, but my ex-wife basically gave me my life back. My kids are grown. I have a clean slate and I’m the one who gets to write on it.”
During treatment, Rick also discovered that he wasn’t bipolar, a diagnosis received back home in Washington that he had always questioned. He was prescribed the correct meds, and that made all the difference.
Once he was taken out of his situation, Rick was able to get some clarity and realize that he has his whole life ahead of him. His marriage doesn’t define him. His job doesn’t define him. He’s the one who defines him. He just needed to get back to his core values and rediscover himself. Through this process, he became excited about being Rick again, a feeling he hadn’t experienced in years.
Rick is still taking meds and still seeing a therapist regularly. He’s also still on administrative leave. He’d like to work three more years as a police officer so he can retire at the 30-year mark, but he understands that decision may be out of his control. Instead, he focuses on what he can control. He addressed his legal issues and works with a business partner on a private venture. All of Rick’s problems and pressures didn’t magically disappear once he sought treatment; he’s just better equipped to handle things when life doesn’t go his way.
There’s still the temptation to sink back into negative thoughts and dwell on those he believes have done him wrong, but Rick knows that won’t get him where he wants to go. So he copes by listening to music or spending time with positive friends. He’s also rediscovering long-forgotten passions like climbing and hiking. He’s even looking into finishing up his pilot’s license.
“I’m not cured, I’m just managing it,” he says. “But treatment gave me the tools to do that.”
In treatment, they kept asking, “What do you hope to get from being here?” and Rick remembers saying, “I want to have hope for the future.” In recovery, he’s found that and much more.