- Drugs
Tammy H.’s Story
A little over four years ago, my husband was injured at work. This injury started the unwanted spiral of destructing events. He had surgery to repair the injured body part. The surgery was unsuccessful and resulted in my husband struggling with a pain pill addiction for the next four years. My husband did not choose this route, nor did he intend to go down the road that led him to this behavior; it just happened and can happen to anyone at any time.
As I watched my husband change in a way that I knew would lead down a path we did not want to go, I became very controlling and tried everything in my power to prevent his addiction from tearing up our family. The addiction led to lies, new friends, lost family time, broken trust, undependability and total chaos. I remember a time when our children would have friends over for supper, and they were surprised at how our family still ate dinner together at the dinner table. I thought that was what all families did. Well, I hate to say it, but our family is missing a very important person at our dinner table today as a result of prescription drug addiction.
In my efforts to prevent this from happening, I was chasing my husband farther into the place I was trying to protect him from. I always thought that I could fix the problem; then when I couldn’t, I thought it was all my fault and wondered what was wrong with me. I became depressed and very angry. I realized I needed help from my husband’s addiction the day after Christmas of 2011. At a time that was supposed to be full of family events and happiness, ours was again total chaos. We again had a heated debate about the pills, and he again was going to move out. I could not take another moment of the hurt, pain and disappointment that I left in my car, and the next thing I knew, I had run my car off the road into a ditch and hit a tree. The car landed on its side, and there I was still heartbroken, but now with a wrecked car. I was not injured in the wreck, but it taught me a great lesson that day. In the process of trying to fix a problem that I DID NOT create and that I could not fix, if I didn’t get a grip, I was headed for my own destruction of a different kind. Now my kids not only lost faith in their father, but they were about to lose it in their mother.
Since that time, I have attended counseling, I see my doctor on a regular basis, I started back to college, I became very active in our county’s Drug Abuse Prevention Coalition, and I have started a SOLACE Chapter in our county. SOLACE stands for “Surviving Our Loss And Continuing Everyday.” I have let go of my husband to get better when he wants to, because I can’t make him do something he doesn’t want to do. He will not fully recover until HE wants to recover. I let him know that I love him very much and I always will but in order to save myself and what is left of my family we have to now go our own ways. Only GOD knows if my husband will one day choose his family over his drug instead of his drug over his family.