- Faith
Captured by Heroes in Recovery lead advocate, Sue
There are times in life when your path takes you on a completely different journey than the one you planned. That is what happened in 2006 when we were dealing with our prodigal. We all know the feeling when our world gets turned upside down and we have far more questions than answers. When we are in the middle of that crisis, we cannot imagine how God will turn it around for good.
Now six years later, as I look back, I can see how God was doing new work in each member of my family. I can also see how God was bringing us to a new ministry through our trial and suffering.
These are JoEllen’s words as she looks back at the time when she and her husband were struggling to make sense of their daughter’s rebellious and out-of-control behavior. They, like many parents, were not sure what they were dealing with. As her behaviors disrupted their family life to the point of being unmanageable, they sought help. They sent their daughter to a working Christian ranch/school that worked with troubled teens. This was the start of their new journey.
JoEllen and her husband Doug carried around pain as they tried to run their business, raise their son, and find a way to help themselves live through this time in their lives. As their daughter adjusted to her new environment, JoEllen and Doug were able to visit their daughter every four to six weeks. This was dependent upon her behavior. They found ways to make these visits as positive as possible. Doug took many pictures of all the girls living at the ranch during their daily jobs and activities. From this he made slideshows that he shared with them. At Christmas, they each received a collage of these photos. The girls, who were there for various reasons and came from a variety of circumstances, felt the love and care JoEllen and Doug willingly shared.
At home, JoEllen and Doug joined a Parents of Prodigals Bible study. During this time, being part of the group helped them to share their concerns and pain with other parents. Everyone’s journey was a little different, but each had the same love and concern for their child. By observing the teachers of the Bible study, JoEllen saw that as they gave comfort to others, they were able to move beyond their pain and find joy in helping others. They went through the study again with the same feeling and decided to be one of the leaders to offer it in their home.
Their daughter was still away at the ranch making progress, and they still struggled with the loss. As they taught, JoEllen realized that listening to, praying with and teaching others helped her and her husband as much as the parents who came to their home. Having a caring and safe support group was needed by all. Their daughter returned home after 16 and a half months and gave her testimony at one of the last classes of the season. She shared what God had done in her life, and JoEllen was proud to see her ministering to parents and see her growth as a person.
The new year of 2008 started off with a new group of parents to attend the Bible study. JoEllen’s daughter was back in school and they were moving forward with their family life. But things are never the same after going through an experience like this. Another door opened during this Bible study. JoEllen went where God called her.
One of the new parents had a 19 year-old son who was incarcerated. JoEllen asked the mom if she could write to him. This was the start of a two year mentorship while he remained in jail, and it continues to this day almost two years since his release. During her visits to the jail, she met other young men and she was able to write to and mentor them as well. She was able to bring God into their lives in a way they hadn’t experienced before. What started as a very difficult time for JoEllen and her family has transitioned from asking for help and support to providing it. Teaching the Parents of Prodigals Bible study has evolved over time into an active prison ministry.
To date, JoEllen has had the privilege of mentoring nine young men and two young women during their incarceration. She has helped to start a weekly church service on Friday nights for those recently released from prison. The prison chaplains come to preach, they sing songs of worship, and the former inmates share their stories.
JoEllen wants us to see what faith in God and following his will can do in our lives. The 19 year-old she first wrote to is now finishing college at Georgia Tech and is a math tutor for high school students. Another has started a home improvement company, and he employs some of the inmates he served time with. A third recently married and is employed full-time with a graphics company and teaches a Bible study at his church.
One is gifted with a beautiful singing voice and sings for the Friday night service, while working full-time during the day as an electrician. Four of the guys returned to jail, but this time to share their stories with other inmates.
In JoEllen’s words: All of us have struggled with adversity of some kind with our prodigals. It is inevitable in this world that we will experience trials. I now see if I determine from the beginning of my trial to focus on what I will gain versus simply surviving it, I can maintain a more positive outlook. I now ask God to reveal the lessons to me and then allow my experience to benefit others. It isn’t always easy. But when you reach out to help others, your pain becomes secondary to what God is accomplishing through your trial. You learn what it is to live by faith because you eventually learn to let go and trust God for the outcome of your child. I know that God loves our children and continually pursues them. In closing, I encourage you to never give up on your child.
As a parent, I thank JoEllen for sharing her story. Like our prodigals, we also have a journey we are meant to take. JoEllen has embraced that journey.