- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Friends & Family
- Mental Health
- Other Addictions
My journey started at a young age. I was only 12 when my mom’s boyfriend began to come into my room when I was sleeping. That abuse lasted until his arrest, two years later. I think that my first addiction was born from that trauma. I had been trying to erase it by acting out in the only way I knew.
My first addiction is an addiction I still struggle with to this day. Thankfully, I haven’t slipped or relapsed in my current relationship, but I have slipped in almost every other relationship I have been in. That addiction is to sex.
I have also struggled with eating disorders and borderline personality disorder. These conditions sometimes made my emotions so overwhelming that I self-harmed and even tried to take my own life at times. By the time I was in my late twenties, my addiction turned to alcohol, but I didn’t stop, even after I experienced legal troubles.
I had a gastric bypass surgery that made my stomach the size of an egg. Drinking is very dangerous after having that kind of surgery. They even warn you ahead of time… but I did it anyway. In excess. For over a year. That’s not all, either. Crack, cocaine, meth… I did anything and everything, really. I was falling apart. Then one November morning, my “friends”” dropped me off at my apartment. I was almost unconscious when they dropped me off and I quickly passed out for hours, only to wake to my daughter knocking on the door.
That wasn’t the first time my daughter had found me unconscious. That time, after my daughter found me unconscious, she sought help from the place where she and I both attended group therapy. They helped her talk to me. She expressed that she was very concerned because my medications and drug use had interacted badly before. I could see how it was impacting my daughter. I will always be grateful they opened my eyes as to how I was acting
I decided that I wasn’t going to drink or use drugs anymore. I’ve been clean and sober since that day. It was November 17, 2017. My treatment team has grown since that day and my boyfriend has been a big support for me, as well.
I’m so happy and grateful to be sober today because I have so much to live for. My children and grandchildren are so wonderful to be around. My writing is important to me. I’m looking forward to new and exciting opportunities. Spring is around the corner. My boyfriend and I are now able to do a lot of fun activities.