- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Faith
My heart and my passion have always been to play music. I have done it all my life. Growing up in the 1960s and 1970s during the rock n roll era, I lived out my dream, playing with many of the bands of the day. I toured around, performing and living the life of a musician in a rock n roll band, including the use of alcohol and drugs. I continued to use and was able to sustain that lifestyle until I was 41 years old.
By that point, I couldn’t keep it going. Heroin was destroying my life. I no longer had any meaningful relationships. I had become hopeless, lawless and Godless. I was scared to quit and scared to not quit. I continually wished for death. In 1991, I made my first attempt at recovery, with another unsuccessful attempt in 1993. It wasn’t until Christmas of 1995 that I was able to commit to my recovery. On Dec 27th of this year, I will celebrate 17 years of recovery. It is nothing short miraculous.
Early in my recovery (after two years of being clean and sober), my sponsor suggested I work as a tech in a recovery program. This job developed into my other passion in life, working in recovery. In 2003, I became a Certified Addiction Counselor. The reasons I chose to study addiction are twofold. I was fascinated that addiction could make you do things that go against your heart. The other reason was the gratitude I had for my life. I was still alive when I should have died many times over. Professionally, I have been given many rewarding opportunities. Today, I am a counselor in a transitional housing setting. I am called the rock n roll counselor.
Recovery has given back to me much of what I had lost. After not having had any relationship with my siblings during my addiction, I now have great relationships with them. My faith did not exist. Today, my connection to my faith and spirituality is so strong. There also was a five year period during which I lost my music, but having that back today means the world to me. I tour and perform regularly. My most recent trip was to Kenya, and I performed at the Heroes in Recovery 6k in December. But the most rewarding music setting for me is when I play in my church band every week. It is a place that allows me to stay grounded.
People think life in recovery may be boring, but this is not so. When I was five years sober, I would often wake myself up laughing with happiness. I couldn’t believe where a life of recovery had taken me. It has brought me great serenity. I support my own recovery. I continue to go to meetings, nurture my faith life, give back, and pick and chose who I spend time with. I surround myself with people in recovery, in my daily life and in my music world. In my world, it is fun to be me.
What I would like others to keep in mind while starting out on this journey of recovery is that it won’t happen until you are ready and that abstinence is just the start. But when you are ready, it is worth the work. When there are struggles, it is working. It is important to trust the process of recovery. If you can do that, you get to see the benefits of your hard work. You will have some fun and gain peace of mind along the way. I am living proof that miracles happen. How many people can say that they are living out their life’s passions? Don’t give up until the miracle happens for you.