- Alcohol
- Drugs
My name is Willie B. I was born in Crescent City, CA and raised in the northeast part of Louisiana in a town called Monroe. I’m the youngest child of seven siblings, so I was a spoiled little mom’s boy. My dad didn’t really have a lot to do with me. He was a pretty mean man, so I stayed clear of him. He wasn’t a drinker. The man was just not father material. He provided but that was about all. There is a lot more to raising a child then providing food and shelter. But my mother was a very Christian woman who is caring, loving and giving. She raised me up in the church and taught me all the lessons of the Bible.
I stayed in church until I met women and alcohol. Then, I thought I had arrived. Oh, how I loved the combination of them both. In my relationships, I would get drunk and be mean and ugly to the women and they would break it off. Then, I would drink even more and wonder why I couldn’t treat women as they needed to be treated.
I have had several battles with life-threatening situations. When I was a baby, I had a disease that made me grow bigger than the average baby. This caused me to stay in the hospital for several months at a time. When I was 12 years of age, I almost bled to death from a pulled tooth that turned into a dry socket. I remember that night my mother had to beg my father to take me to the doctor. My mother couldn’t drive a car due to her eyesight. I have had numerous car wrecks and also have had two aneurisms on the right side of my brain due to IV use with cocaine. I have almost lost my right arm due to IV use, which has left me with a scar due from when the doctors repaired my vein. They took a vein out of my leg and graphed it into my left arm. They stapled me up with 93 staples in my arm and 120 staples in my leg. Another time, I had my appendix burst and the last thing I heard was my mother screaming to my dad, “He’s dying!” My heart had quit beating several times that night due to gangrene that had set up around it. I have fought death tooth and nail most of my life. I’ve been in an out of jails, hospitals, institutions for the mentally ill and eight treatment centers that I remember.
I have five children of my own. I’ve been married three times but none have worked out due to my alcohol and drug addiction. I have had several jobs but have not been able to keep them because of my addictions. I am a very smart man and I can do just about anything. I have sold drugs and stolen from my wife and my mother so I could get my drugs. I have pimped my wife out. I have thrown my family out on the street to move my drug dealer in. I have about eight DUIs on my record due to drinking charges. I have domestic violence charges from abusing my kids, wives and family members. I have been in and out of jail since the age of 18. I have been homeless living on the streets a few times in life. I have eaten out of dumpsters. I used to wait until the bars closed just to drink the alcohol they would throw away.
One time, being homeless lead me to a group called Teen Challenges. I completed the program and became an assistant pastor for the Assembly of God church. I learned things there and got my first revelations of God that impacted my life forever. I found out things about myself there too. I found out that I had an addiction and I saw what I could be with Christ the Lord in my life. The day I left there, the dean said I would never make it because he knew I was still not letting go. I have been in an out of alcoholism recovery groups since the age of 17. I knew my life was unmanageable. We can all see that by now from what I have written.
I went to jail again in August 2011 and stayed until December 2012 due to charges of domestic violence, cruelty to the elderly and my second stolen vehicle felony charge. I lost my beautiful wife and my kids, including one child that I had just gotten out of state custody. In the courtroom, they had to pull my stepdaughter off my leg, screaming and crying. Those are memories that I have had to let go of but I have not forgotten. In jail, I gave my life to Christ after I tried to hang myself. They put me in a suicide cell, and that’s where God showed up. I listened for the first time in my life. I surrendered my will over to him, begging for him to do something with this life that I have destroyed. During those 16 months in jail, God showed me how to be a husband, a brother, a friend, a father and, most of all, showed me how to have a relationship with my father Jesus Christ.
Now I accept life on life’s terms and I’m a leader at a Celebrate Recovery home. I have been asked to lead a newcomers’ group there. I have also started an online ministry called The Form that’s about addiction, domestic violence, homelessness and other things I have been through and so many other people are still going through. God is restoring my relationship with my siblings and my kids. They have a real father for the first time in their lives. I love helping people through their struggles in life. Today, people tell me they love me because of my heart. Thank you, Lord! When you quit hanging on and start letting go, you can surrender. That is when He becomes the potter and you become the clay.