- Alcohol
- Mental Health
The beginning of my story actually starts about 10 years ago. I had just left my hometown of Memphis, TN, where I had all the friends in the world and went to a town where no one accepted me. I went through three major traumas that to this day are hard to forgive or forget. Deaths and painful memories of a sexual predator waiting to get me are also part of my story. All of these traumas set off a Fourth of July firework show in my head that were pleading for me to do something about them. I had to find something to slow everything down and make me forget it all. I had my first drink of alcohol at age 14. Like others, I started slow and then progressed with every episode of drinking.
As college began, I could become anyone I wanted to be. It was a clean slate to reinvent myself. I drifted off the education wagon and got well acquainted with the same people who liked to do what I did, which was drink and drink hard. It was not long until I had flunked out of school, lost the only girl I have ever loved and destroyed all my friendships. That still was not my rock bottom. I just had my own party with myself. I drank constantly. From the time I woke up until I fell asleep, I had a shot glass in my hand. I repeated this process for a year. I lost so much weight that literally nothing would stay down. I forced myself to hold down the liquor because it was the only thing to make me feel ok at this point. I had heard my family talking about my isolation issue so I knew they were catching on. I did what I could to hide my disease, but it was more than obvious that my drinking was affecting me.
In 2011, I went to my first treatment program. When my 30 days were up, I felt like a king. I gained my weight back and I was looking healthy. I thought that not drinking was going to be a piece of cake. Over the next year, I was hospitalized numerous times for drinking too much. I thought the life that God and my parents gave me was not important anymore. My isolation and depression had consumed my mind, and I was just waiting to die. My family and friends just did not understand why I was doing what I was doing. Luckily, I found a treatment program that knew how to treat me for my alcoholism and depression issues. I have gained a wealth of knowledge over the past two years and I am just finally starting to apply these life saving skills. I cannot sit here and act like I have a lot of time under my belt because my shot at recovery has not been very long.
Although it has not been much time, I want to write this for the parents of young adults who do not want to seek treatment or anyone who is stuck in his or her recovery process and needs a reboot of motivation. Seeking help is a blessing from God and it is a chance to save your life. If you think you don’t have a problem, then look up the symptoms of alcoholism or addiction and see if you still think you are ok. I am here to tell you that there is another life out there where you can live happily and you feel grateful for each day you are given. You just need to surrender and one day you will feel like a HERO IN RECOVERY. Thanks to everyone who has been a part of saving my life. To be continued…
Some words to live by:
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. – Carl Bard
It takes a deep commitment to change and an even deeper commitment to grow. – Ralph Ellison
If God grants you another chance, take it and hold on tight. It’s going to be a phenomenal journey! – Greg Walker