- Drugs
Hi, my name is Brandon, and I am an addict. I can say it now. For years I could not say it in meetings or even out loud to myself. I can say it now. I could and would love to tell my full story to those that want to know the deep emotional toll addiction costs, but I want to keep this simple and tell you a few key points about my addiction.
I used different substances for 12 out the last 15 years of my 38 years. Why 12 of 15? I was on probation for a total of three years and did not want to get caught using at those times. I am an addict. I stayed clean to stay out of trouble, but when probation was over, I used again and again. Addiction controls every aspect of your life. I kept using until I was done digging that hole.
A few important people came to this selfish only-child in his late 30s and told me they would be out of my life if I did not change. I did what I usually do and played the game for a bit before going back to my selfish addicted ways. However this time the substance use felt a little wrong, and I could see those important people were not going along with me like they had in the past. I had two choices for my lazy, unemployed, selfish, rude and addicted self: continue and have nothing but my substance or toss the shovel away and stop digging that hole.
I tossed the shovel!
I tossed or broke all those things we use for our substance. I removed myself from people, places and things. It was actually easy once I did it. Let me tell you what was hard and how you truly become a Hero in Recovery:
looking at yourself in the mirror each day. It all starts with that.
Taking responsibility for my actions and committing to being a responsible sober adult is hard. By humbling myself I acknowledge that I am the only one that can do it. By humbling myself I can get back to my childhood and the church. Now that I sit on the other side of sobriety, sobriety is still hard. It is easy to go use, call up old acquaintances and say it is only this once. I am an addict, and one leads to many, and a thousand is never enough.
Be real with yourself, and as you look in that mirror, accept that recovery is and will be hard. It will take those that want to leave you if you do not change the longest to accept your sobriety. Be patient with them because you have to remember those are the ones you hurt the most. You can do it. I believe in you because I did it. I humbled myself, fought myself in the mirror, took responsibility for myself. Now I have a good relationship with my teenage daughters, a smile on my face, full-time employment with benefits and so many other blessings from becoming a Hero in Recovery. It is now your turn.
My story involves lessons learned, relationships broken and so much more. I hope I have caught someone’s attention and something I said will help. I love to talk about my past and my struggles to become the man I am today. I want everyone to be a hero and live a better life.