- Alcohol
When I first began going to recovery groups, I was not thrilled. I was still in denial and thought I had my drinking under control. I denied that alcoholism had such a big grip on me. At the same time, deep inside I was hurting so much, and I knew enough about recovery programs to know that the 12-steps really do help some people stop drinking and deal with many life issues.
I remember sitting in the recovery meetings, angry and judgmental. Those that just got out of alcohol detox seemed to be so grateful while going on and on about their clarity and new-found passion for life. I’d sit there and roll my eyes. I did not have a lot of hope in the program, in myself or in life in general.
Thankfully I kept attending those meetings, and some folks reached out to me. They’d give me those big hugs and warm greetings and tell me to, “keep coming back.” There were a few particular individuals who really made an impression on me because they had gone from crazy, broke and just about homeless alcoholics to successful and happy recovering addicts. Their stories inspired me.
To me recovery means hope because 99% of the men and women that walk into those meetings have little to zero hope. Maybe they had it at one time, but the bottle kept stuffing it way down deep under layers of junk. I’ve been there. I walked into meetings with my tail between my legs because my self-worth was gone and my pain was immense. Even though I denied I was a “real” alcoholic, I admitted that I did drink to numb the pain and cope with my negative emotions.
When I got into recovery, I felt my hope begin to rise. I got a sponsor and a couple of friends, and we encouraged one another. They gave me hope, and I did the same in return. We shared stories. We shared defeats. We shared fears and dreams. We shared some pretty good laughs too.
Today the recovery program means everything to me. The 12-steps have given me the opportunity to grow personally and spiritually. My sponsor has been nothing short of an angel. She did three things for me that I consider to be life-saving:
She kicked my butt when I needed it kicked and empathized with me when I needed some comfort.
She challenged me and let me know that recovery is not about perfection, but progress.
She assured me that I could make it through “anything” without one sip of alcohol – and she is right.
Alcoholism is a disease that goes under the radar much of the time. In fact, plenty of people have no idea they are alcoholics, but they are. Maybe they are not in the gutter begging for money for another bottle, but they rely on alcohol to get through life. They drink to numb the pain. They drink because they hurt, and even though they say they can stop, if they were to try, they probably couldn’t.
I think the more that those in recovery shine bright at work and in their communities, the better the chance others would get free from alcoholism. I’ve had people ask me why I’m so happy and full of optimism. I’ve no shame telling them that I am a recovering alcoholic that uses the 12-step recovery program to grow in so many ways. Recovery is surely my hope and my haven and for that I am so grateful!
Dominica Applegate is a writer, speaker, and poet with a deep passion for discovering and sharing authentic spiritual truth. She has been discovering herself under all sorts of odd layers and loves to share her stories and lessons learned with anyone that will listen. She loves reading, contemplating, nature, family time, and traveling. Connect with Dominica at her website and Facebook.