- Drugs
I was born in Johannesburg, South Africa on July 20, 1983. I first experimented with drugs 14 years ago. My friends and I decided to try grass, not knowing that this would be the start of a road to destruction. I instantly got high. Did I realize I was different at that point? Did that warn me about what was to come? That night, before going to bed, I prayed that I would never touch it again.
Two years later I had my first encounter with my drug of choice. At a house party, there was some white powder with a rolled-up bank note on the side. Being a curious person, I asked about it and was shown how to take it. That was one awesome feeling! This formerly shy and quiet guy could suddenly speak to girls, be open and not hide away. It made me feel like a different person. I immediately asked where I could get more and was introduced to a dealer at the same party.
From that day on, my life became different. I was out all day and night. The easiest and safest place to use was a casino, so not only did I love my drug, I also loved and got instantly hooked on gambling. Winning my first big amount made me even greedier. I thought life was perfect as long as my day started with a few grams and some cash in my pocket, but within a year I had lost almost everything. I then relied on other methods to finance my habits. This involved illegal and unethical activities including stealing from family.
Drug-induced paranoia made me isolate myself, and my addictions carried on for almost 12 years. I went to rehab around six times, but I went without giving my all and without accepting my powerlessness over my addiction. Denial was my first name, and chaos was my life. On my last binge I overdosed, and my father rushed me to the hospital. I was admitted into a high-care ward and was told that if I ever used again, I’d die. That’s when it all hit me. I realized I needed help, I needed change and I needed to surrender. I decided to do this for myself, not my family. I was hungry and lifeless and ready to change.
I admitted myself into a treatment center away from home. I started my program and worked it to my fullest. I’m happy today. I’m five months clean, and I’m grateful. I’m even grateful to be an addict, because it has taught me how to overcome this disease and live life in a pure and clean way. I know love and found a new way to live. I work in the same rehabilitation center I attended, and I live just for today.