The Inaugural atTAcK addiction 5K
When you’re involved in the addiction/recovery community, you meet some pretty amazing people on a regular basis. Sometimes those meetings consist of a simple “Hello” and often lead to occasional conversations, either electronically (via Facebook or email), on the phone, or in person. But sometimes the connections you make with people run much deeper.
I first “met” Jeanne through Facebook about a year ago when I became aware of an organization she and her husband Don had started to honor their youngest son Tyler. Tyler was actively working on his recovery from heroin addiction when he suffered his first and only overdose on December 20, 2012. Sadly, Tyler was planning on going to a detox center the next day; but he never made it. He passed away on December 23, 2012–his sister’s birthday–after spending four days in a coma and donating his heart, liver, and both kidneys through the Gift of Life organ donation program. Tyler was 24 years old.
Jeanne and Don formed “atTAcK addiction” to educate young people and their community about the dangers of drugs and alcohol; assist parents who are seeking information; support people who are in recovery; and help break the stigma associated with addiction.
atTAcK addiction–the capital letters represent Tyler’s initials–started off by holding regular meetings in their hometown of Bear, Delaware. The group started out small, but has grown. Along with giving educational talks to students, atTAcK addiction also gets involved with events. They’ve participated in a Donor Dash race in Philadelphia; had fundraising softball and football games; helped fixed up a sober living house for women; and played a major role in getting Delaware’s 911/Good Samaritan Law passed.
From the very beginning, I was blown away by what Jeanne, Don, and their children, Courtney and Matt, were doing. To take such an unthinkable tragedy and turn it into something positive that helps other people is so selfless. I also felt strongly connected to these people because my own son–who, as I write this, is 20 months clean and sober–is around the same age that Tyler was when he passed.
I can’t really explain the many different levels of connection that I, along with my wife Kathy, feel with Jeanne and Don. But I do know this: When we found out back in December that they were holding the inaugural atTAcK addiction 5K race in New Castle, Delaware, on March 1st–Tyler’s birthday–I knew my wife and I had to be there.
When I sent Jeanne a message and told her that Kathy and I were planning on making the 10-hour-or-so drive to Delaware for the race, she was excited. We were all excited, really, because we knew we were going to get to meet in person for the first time. When I asked Jeanne for recommendations for affordable hotels in the area, she said that Kathy and I could stay with her and Don at their house. What a gracious act of generosity on their part!
Then a few weeks before the 5K, Jeanne asked me if I would be a guest speaker at the pre-race dinner being held the night before. Although I was a bit shocked–nobody had ever asked me to speak at an event before–I immediately told her I’d do it. Was I nervous? Sure. But I figured talking about my son’s addiction wasn’t that much different than writing about it, and I’ve been writing about it for years.
My wife and I arrived in Delaware late Friday afternoon, got settled in, and then went to the pre-race dinner with Jeanne and Don. The event was so lovely and uplifting. There were about a hundred people there and the sense of community and genuine support was truly heartwarming. After some great food and the awarding of some door prizes, the first guest speaker, Brad, gave his talk.
Brad is person who took up running to aid him in his recovery. And run he does. Last year he ran 7,000 miles to raise awareness for addiction and recovery. The year before, he ran 5,000 miles. Needless to say, Brad’s talk was incredibly inspirational (and a tough act to follow).
When it was time for me to speak, I was still pretty nervous. But once I was in front of the audience with a microphone in my hand, I felt totally comfortable. I think I spoke for about 20 minutes or so, telling my family’s story, sharing information about the Heroes in Recovery movement, and thanking Jeanne and Don for everything they’ve done. Then, after everyone helped clean up, we headed back to the house.
The next morning, we got up early and headed to the 5K. I have to say, what we saw there was astonishing.
Since this was the first atTAcK addiction 5K race, Jeanne and Don said they were hoping they’d get 200 participants; and that they’d be happy with 150. But in the days leading up to the race, online registration kept growing and growing. There were also numerous people who registered in person the morning of the race. Remarkably, the total number of participants ended up being around 900.
Before the race, the church gym was absolutely packed with people, all of whom came out to support atTAcK addiction and its cause. Teams of runners and walkers were decked out in matching t-shirts (we were “Ty’s Buccaneers”), carried signs, and were thrilled to be there. Everyone was amazed by the huge turnout.
Thankfully, Mother Nature provided a bright, sunny day for the race, which went off without a hitch. Kathy and I walked with an old friend we hadn’t seen in more than 25 years who came from New Jersey for the event. The scenery along the course was so beautiful: Lots of historic Colonial homes, views of the Delaware River, and quaint little shops downtown.
The race was an overwhelming success thanks to the 100-plus volunteers who organized and oversaw it, all the participants, and, of course, Jeanne, Don, and their family. They are all true heroes in recovery. It was such a breathtaking and rewarding experience to be a part of the inaugural atTAcK addiction 5K. My wife and I are already looking forward to next year’s race!
Postscript: It would be very remiss of me if I didn’t mention the most emotional part of the weekend. Please know that I am only writing about it because Jeanne gave me permission to do so.
After the 5K was over, and before we all headed out to lunch at a local pizza place, Jeanne and Don took us with them to visit Tyler’s gravesite. Since it was his birthday, Ty’s parents wanted to place flowers and a “Happy Birthday” balloon next to his headstone.
When we arrived at the cemetery and Jeanne and Don started to get out of the car, I asked if it was okay if Kathy and I accompanied them. Without hesitation, Jeanne said it was fine. We were so grateful because we really wanted to pay our respects to Tyler.
The four of us walked up to Tyler’s final resting place and Jeanne set the flowers down and tied the balloon to the vase. Then we all embraced and cried a little. I cannot even begin to describe the feelings that raced through me at that moment. I also couldn’t help but think: That could be my son; or anybody else’s son or daughter.
Addiction can happen to anyone and there are far too many people–young and old–being taken from us much too soon because of it. We need to keep working at educating people, getting more and better treatment in place, and breaking the stigma associated with the disease so that those who need help aren’t afraid or ashamed to seek it. We need to atTAcK addiction.
As we started to walk back to the car after paying our respects, I reached for the blue “atTAcK addiction” bracelet that Jeanne had sent me a year ago. I hadn’t taken it off my right wrist since I put it on for the first time. But I took it off that day, placed it next to the headstone, and said out loud, “Happy birthday, Tyler.”
If you get a chance, please visit the atTAcK addiction website at www.attackaddiction.com
Note: If you are in recovery, or if you have a loved one who is in recovery, please consider sharing your story on the Heroes in Recovery website. Real recovery begins with real people. And real stories. By sharing, you can help BREAK THE STIGMA.
You can share your story in one of two ways:
1.) Go to the Heroes in Recovery page, share your story directly, and let them know Dean sent you.
2.) Contact me on Facebook (Dean Dauphinais) and I can help you through the process. Or we can talk on the phone and I can help you write your story.
I have a couple of stories posted under “Dean D.” I invite you to go check them out. Also, please feel free to share this blog post or leave comments below.
Go forward, be brave, and keep the faith.
–Dean