A Reminder in My Pocket
Here’s a little known fact about me: I carry a poem in my pocket—more specifically, in my wallet—EVERY day. It’s a poem my son wrote and posted online on April 3, 2007. It’s entitled “A Poem of Sorts.” I don’t even think he knows I saw it, let alone printed it out and stuck it in my wallet.
The poem is biographical, deeply personal, dark, and self-deprecating (but not at all in a humorous way). I remember crying when I read the poem for the first time; it broke my heart and made me so sad to read how my depressed and addicted son actually felt about himself.
I decided to print the poem out and carry it with me to remind myself that my son had strong feelings about himself. They were torturously negative feelings, but they were his feelings. I think the poem, as upsetting as it was to me, validated my son’s actions in a way. It made me realize that there was a firestorm of activity going on inside his brain and made me understand—at least a little bit—why he was doing some of the things he was doing: the drugs, the “cutting,” etc. It might sound crazy, but having that poem in my wallet brought me a little closer to my son and his condition.
More than seven years later, I still carry the poem in my wallet. As my son approaches two years of sobriety, “A Poem of Sorts” now serves a different purpose: it’s become a reminder of how bleak things were for my son and how far he has come on his journey. It also reminds me to appreciate every single day of my son’s sobriety and happiness, and to live in the moment. Because today is really all we have.
“If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.” –Emily Dickinson
Note: If you are in recovery, or if you have a loved one who is in recovery, please consider sharing your story on the Heroes in Recovery website. Real recovery begins with real people. And real stories. By sharing, you can help BREAK THE STIGMA.
You can share your story in one of two ways:
1.) Go to the Heroes in Recovery page, share your story directly, and let them know Dean sent you.
2.) Contact me on Facebook (Dean Dauphinais) and I can help you through the process. Or we can talk on the phone and I can help you write your story.
Also, please feel free to share this blog post or leave comments below. I want to know what your thoughts are on this subject. All feedback is appreciated.
Go forward, be brave, and keep the faith.
–Dean