- Alcohol
- Drugs
My name is Bryan. I am a recovering addict and alcoholic. My mother and father divorced when I was five. My mom was abusive, and I was beat with a horse-riding crop. At the age of twelve, I ran away to live with my grandparents who let me do pretty much anything. I began to drink and smoke pot which led to cocaine and then crystal meth. I started roofing at 17, was good at it and always had a job and plenty of money to party. By the time I was 19 I was a full-blown alcoholic and drank every day, all day. I started doing meth on a daily basis and this led to drinking three times as much. Although alcohol was always my drug of choice, I liked how meth allowed me to drink more and party longer.
At age 21 I was married, and my daughter was soon to be born. My wife was not much of a drinker but was hard into meth. Shortly after my daughter was born, I had a son too. The drinking and drug abuse just got worse. I switched from drinking beer and wine to drinking a fifth or more of vodka a day.
My wife and I would fight and split up for months at a time. We were apart for a year when I got news that she had thrown a toy, split my daughter’s face and sent her to school that way. The cops came to my door looking for her. I knew where she was living with some meth addict. I went there with the cops thinking I would get custody of my kids, but although she was arrested for child abuse, I had a warrant out for a ticket I got riding a dirtbike on the streets. We both went to jail, and Child Protective Services took my kids and gave them to my mother.
I was released the same day, but I still had to jump through hoops to see my kids. I took drug tests and classes for almost two years before I got my kids back. I did this alone. My wife continued to party and had no interest in our kids. I raised my son alone while my mother raised my daughter.
My drinking was way out of hand. By the time my son was ten, I needed to stay drunk to not get sick from detoxing so I went to rehab. As soon as I got out, I was drinking again. It took two years before I went back to rehab for 90 days this time. When I got out it was only a matter of days before I was drunk again. A few more years went by and my drinking continued, but the last time in rehab I was able to get off meth. I looked at that as a positive thing, but now I was drinking a half gallon to a gallon of vodka a day. If I didn’t have alcohol in my body every six to eight hours, I would become deathly ill and have seizures. My mother took my son in order to protect him.
I reached out for help again, and my mother paid for one last trip to rehab before shipping me off to live in sober living housing in the middle of the rainforest. The housing was miles from anywhere and housed just me and a Japanese fellow that had been sober for nine years. We had no TV or radio. All the water was caught by rain gutters and directed to a tank. Here I learned to be honest, find a higher power and once again appreciate the small things in life.
My three-year sobriety date: May 3, 2014. By the grace of God, community and hundreds of meetings, I am happy and life is good. I am also presently in school and will have my Class A CDL license in just a few days. Life is grand. My name is Bryan, and I am a very grateful recovering addict and alcoholic.