- Drugs
My very first experience with drugs made me feel like I was home. It was like I belonged there, and nothing else mattered. However my life spiraled out of control. I was incapable of living a normal life, because when that first drug hit me and all the pain went away, I became a slave to its effects. I never wanted to feel pain, ever. I didn’t want to feel the pain of abandonment by my biological parents, the pain of having an abusive adopted father (he was an alcoholic), the pain of having bipolar disorder, the pain of self-esteem issues, the pain of a teenage rape or the pain of harassment (physical, mental and sexual) and other personal issues.
When I finally hit rock bottom, I was trying to successfully raise two children, I lost my father to cancer, I lost my job and I totally lost myself. I was completely domineered by heroin. I needed it to feel like I could breathe.
Through the legal system, I was pushed into my sixth rehab. I went to a treatment center and began a Suboxone maintenance program. It was through a powerful counselor and the God of my understanding that I finally started seeing the light. With the help of my family and by trying to kick my addiction one day at a time, one day turned into a week, a week turned in a month and the month turned into six years.
Today I can say I live life free from the chains of addiction.