- Alcohol
- Drugs
I grew up in a small house with my grandparents and eight aunts. It was easy for me to disappear in plain sight. My grandmother and mother were alcoholics. My bed was the living-room sofa, and this was where my grandmother and mother would sit to drink and argue every night. I had my first drink when I was 12 years old. My drug addiction started at age 14. By the time I was 16, I was an alcoholic and drug user. My addiction carried over into my first marriage to my high-school sweetheart. We lasted 10 years. My second marriage to the mother of my only child lasted 15 years. I tried not drinking or using for the first eight years of this marriage, but the death of my nephew led to me hitting it hard. My drinking and drug use went out of control. After seven years of watching me throw my life away, my wife divorced me. I lost my family, house and job, but most of all I lost my self-respect.
I watched my life disappear and gave up. In 2013 I woke up in intensive care after a self-inflicted gunshot wound to my head. I had IVs in both arms, and my first thought was, “Why did you spare me, Lord?” After spending a week there, I went to a mental hospital. I loved it there. It may sound selfish, but for the first time in my life, I mattered, I came first. I was released to an outpatient therapy group.
Just when life was starting to make some kind of sense, I was arrested for assault. I fought with the court system for six months until I gave up and plead guilty to discharge of a weapon in a building. The judge was an educated man and sentenced me to thirty days in jail followed by a year of probation. For the first time in my life, I was a felon. I never even had a parking ticket before that. No matter how bad it gets, one little “fix” won’t fix anything, trust me. It will make you believe you wasted time with your recovery. I believe God spared me so I can help others when they feel weak and want that fix! I had 40 years of abuse and 40 years of drugs and alcohol ruining my life. If I can maintain my sobriety, so can you.
Hi my name is Michael. I am an alcoholic and drug user with 18 months and 2 weeks sober. One day at a time.