- Alcohol
- Drugs
My name is Michelle and I am a wife and mother of three beautiful boys; however, I am also an addict. My road to addiction started with a car accident at age 17 where I was badly injured. I started taking pain pills and was quickly not taking the medication for a whole day so that I could double up the next. This continued for the better part of 15 years.
My life began to change when in my addiction I could no longer function without taking pills. I was no longer using to get high– I was using to be able to function. Then the inevitable happened, my spouse who was also addicted to pain pills brought home cocaine. Within three weeks of using cocaine we were homeless and living in our van. At the time, we had a six-year-old son who was sleeping in the car with us. Knowing that we were not able to care for him any longer, we turned him over to family.
At this point we then had no responsibilities other than our addiction. We then sold our car for scrap metal for the cost of a hotel room for one day and 300 dollars’ worth of cocaine. We were then homeless and on the streets of Tampa. To tell you the horrors of the next two years of my life would leave your jaw on the floor. We turned to any means possible to support what quickly turned into an insatiable habit. I ended up in jail many times.
My husband lost the taste quicker than I did and returned home and left me on the streets. He began trying to piece together his life after returning home, and worked on getting our son back. I was left in misery, alone, and lost on the streets; I felt too ashamed to return.
After a stint in jail, I decided to give up cocaine. However, I decided that I could drink instead. Within three months of drinking it was completely out of control. My body would wake me at six in the morning, shaking so badly that I had to hold my beer with both hands or drop it. I was trying to reestablish my relationship with my husband and son from a distance, but was not able to function without drinking. Therefore I had to keep them both at a distance.
After a year and a half I awoke with a horrible stomach bug that left me completely unable to consume alcohol. After three days of no sleep, the hallucinations began. I knew I was detoxing and had to go to the hospital. When I arrived at the hospital, the hallucinations were so severe that I felt as if I was losing my mind. I was ready to have a stroke and they admitted me.
I do not remember anything of that stay other than that I was there for a week and a half. I only remember this one thing. It was the most profound thing that I have ever experienced in my entire life. A man walks into my room, where I am tied down to the bed. He places a Big Book beside me and says “You don’t have to live this way anymore.” It was such a revelation to me. I had a choice to make– LIFE or DEATH.
I have not touched a drink since April 30th of 2012. I am now restored with my sober husband and my beautiful 10 year old son. It is a life that I cherish with everything that I have. I believe with my whole heart that God visited me that day. His vessel was chosen in the guise of a member of a sober support group.