- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Friends & Family
My recovery journey began over two years ago. It started back in December 2012. The biggest positive change in my life since entering long term recovery is, well, everything. I know that’s a simple answer, but it’s the best word that describes my journey in sobriety and all the positive changes that have manifested in it over the years.
There was no one thing that led me to my need for recovery from opiates. It was a culmination of so many things. I lost the ability to manage both myself and my life. I lost the ability to feel anything other than pure negative emotions. I was well acquainted with fear, anxiety, depression, devastation, losing connection after connection and losing pieces of myself as it progressed. I was completely lost in life. I had no friends. No meaningful relationships. I only knew how to keep people at a distance so no one would know of my addiction or get close enough to realize how bad of a person I was. That was the turning point.
One important truth I’ve learned through my recovery journey is that relationships are paramount. One cannot recover by his/herself. One has to ask for help. That requires a little leap of faith in a total stranger. Once someone can summon the courage to ask for help, one can begin to start forging relationships.
Today I am most proud of the fact that I’m able to love and help others. I was never able to love myself or love others and certainly never entertained the idea of “wasting” my time to help others. It’s amazing to look back and see how much I have transformed over the years.
I could spend pages writing out all the satisfying things in my life and still not scratch the surface. The most satisfying thing in sobriety is my peace…my peace with myself, my past, my future.
My biggest struggle in long-term recovery is my general regret from my past. I overcome it by doing the exact opposite thing that I am comfortable with. Helping others, talking to strangers, reaching out, these are all uncomfortable things for me to do.
One piece of advice that was shared with me that helped me in early recovery was this: I was told that I was crazy and to not trust my thoughts for quite some time. I was told to do things that were inherently uncomfortable.
If I could impart one thing to those at the beginning of their recovery journey who are afraid they can’t do it, I would let them know that they have their entire life to figure this out. Keep trying. Have a genuine approach. Ask for help.