- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Mental Health
I believe my life was forever changed the moment I took my first hit of weed and drank my first beer! A few of us got together to get high, and as far as I know me and one other kid eventually became dependent on booze or drugs and everyone else ended up either being social drinkers or occasional smokers or non-users. I didn’t know until years later that both of my grandfathers were alcoholics so I guess I have that “addictive” gene in me.
I had many times in my life that could have been turning points for the better, but I did not recognize or have the strength to seize the opportunity to do so! It took me many years to even want to change my abusive behaviors! Over a 10 year period I lost a baseball scholarship, ran my car through a fire hydrant, and drove a truck through a telephone pole and ended up upside down in the road and still did not change.
Being able to keep a job and still be a contributing member of society made me feel I wasn’t in too bad a shape. I was just too immature to change. If I do have to pick a changing point, I would say it was when I started using crack cocaine. The grip it had on me was enough to make me realize I really needed to get help or would most likely die. I remember having a gun put to my head while trying to get crack in a seedy area of Cleveland, Ohio and really wasn’t that concerned with my wellbeing. I just wanted my next “rock” so I just drove one street over to feed my habit!
I didn’t get help for real until I was arrested while attempting to purchase crack one night. I was crying in the back of the police cruiser and the officers told me not to worry, that it will be okay. I explained to them I wasn’t worried but had been waiting for this day to come. That was my last night on crack! I went to a couple of anonymous support meetings, but for the most part just made up my mind in the back of the police car that I was done! Actually my hardest addiction to give up was nicotine and I wasn’t able to be free from that until February of 2007. After I quit smoking my stepson got me into running and I haven’t stopped since.
Don’t give up on yourself! At times I thought I would never become or stay clean, but I have been off drugs for over 25 years and I choose not to drink alcohol. As long as you are alive, there is hope. Try to remember that there are people willing to help you through it!
Life is great today! It isn’t without the ups and downs that most of us face but I know I can handle anything thrown my way with the support of loved ones and coping skills I have practiced over the years. I parted ways with my former employer in 2013 to devote myself to a more fulfilling vocation. I love the people I have met through my running adventures and volunteering with Runwell, a non-profit that raises funds to help those with addiction and mental health issues. I have also recently started my own business called Active Recovery Consulting, a community based wellness consulting company specializing in addiction-fitness programs.
I continue to use running, yoga, eating habits, and my own sense of spirituality to help myself lead a fulfilling life! One of my mantras the last few years has been “Giving Back to Move Forward” and that sense of greater purpose is quite powerful. Lastly I would say if you strive for something more go out and try to grab it! I am not as afraid of failure as I am of being afraid to try!