- Alcohol
- Friends & Family
How long have you been in recovery?
I’ve been a sober man for 32 years. I’ll be 33 years sober, God willing, on December 6.
What was your life like before you found recovery?
My life was chaotic, unpredictable and dangerous.
When did your addiction become problematic?
At the age of 18, I knew I had an addiction problem. I admitted it at that time, but it took me another 10 years to finally accept it and do something about it. I actually put myself into a treatment program back in 1983. They let me go on Christmas Eve day, and I’ve never looked back.
What was the turning point for you?
It’s an old saying in the rooms of 12-step recovery meetings, but I truly got sick and tired of being sick and tired. There was impending doom hanging over my head; I knew and felt something bad was about to happen. I was really soul-sick to the point where I didn’t really want to live anymore. At the age of 28, that’s pretty sad. It scared me, and I knew that I needed to get some help.
What about your family?
I’m from a typical Irish family from Boston. I come from a long line of alcoholics, from probably three to four generations of substance abuse, alcoholism, mental illness, depression and the health issues that come along with that such as cancer, diabetes and heart conditions. I’ve pretty much been exposed to all of those illnesses from the time I was born.
I’m the oldest of five children. My parents separated when I was 12 years old. Unfortunately both of them died in their 50s. From what I understand, my dad died of a heart attack. During the last year of my mother’s life and the first year of my sobriety, I moved back home and took care of her. She died at the age of 53 from cancer.
How did you get to where you are today?
Even in my own sickness, I was always friendly and kind of a show-off, an entertainer, a people-pleaser. I’ve always reached out my hand to help others. I think my mother taught me to do this early on because she used to take in young people to our home. Our priest at the time would say, “Betty, could you keep an eye on this girl for a few days until I know what we need to do with her?” I grew up knowing that helping others was the right thing to do.
When I got sober, I thought about going into politics. I actually ended up with a job at the state house working in the state senate. For the first five years of my sobriety, I also drove people to treatment. I started doing 12-step work, and I would drive folks to treatment at different places. I worked for a small agency at the time and did it to keep busy, do the right thing and help me maintain my own sobriety.
I went back to school, and someone approached me and said, “You should really get into this addiction program here.” I said, “Nah, I’m going this way with political science,” thinking that someday I may be a state rep or a city council member, but I was swayed to get into that program, and then that was it. I was hooked. I ended up getting a job as a marketing rep and then moved on to working for a treatment center for three years. I ended up leaving there and starting my own private practice as an interventionist and an addiction specialist. I started a company, ran with that for a number of years and then eventually created my own foundation. Its mission is to help those who can’t afford aftercare services or counseling services and also to get into the schools and educate the students about the dangers of substance abuse and addiction. It’s about education and aftercare. I created this foundation, and it’s been going since 2010.
What is your life like now in recovery?
God rest my mother’s soul, she raised five of us in a housing project. I was on welfare until the age of 21. I was able to climb out of that situation and my addiction on both an environmental and community level. When I tell my own story, it begins to instill hope. People say, “Geez, if this guy can do it, maybe I can do it.”
In the early years of my sobriety and over the years, I found that music, exercise and 12-step recovery meetings were the things that really kind of brought me together as a whole person. I found that physical exercise was part of my recovery. I always encourage folks in early recovery to get into some exercise and try to eat good food, get to meetings, and get proper rest because that will enhance your feeling about recovery.
Are there any goals or dreams you’ve pursued that you are particularly proud of?
One is creating my own business and having the autonomy to work for both a well-organized, reputable treatment program and my private practice. Being able to partner with both of those entities has been a rewarding, good thing. The other thing is I’ve become a singer-songwriter. I wrote my first song in 2010. My hope is that I might be able to finish an album in the next year or so. Pursuing music has been one of my hopes and dreams because I played music for a number of years in Boston and was an entertainer. Through politics, the entertainment industry and the treatment industry, I’ve been able to create D.L. as you see him now.