The Blessings November Has Given Me
November is the month that we give thanks for all the blessings that we have in our lives. We often surround ourselves with friends and family as Thanksgiving nears and ushers in the holiday season. However, growing up in my family, Thanksgiving was not that big of a holiday. Sure, we had the traditional holiday meal, but that was about it. Two years ago, I began feeling a little different about what being thankful meant and what the true meaning of Thanksgiving is all about. I now associate the month of November as the month I was given a second chance on life. It is the month when my life took a drastic change in a different direction. November was the month that I said good bye to alcohol and drugs and got sober.
Two years ago, I found myself in a place that I never thought I would be. It didn’t happen overnight. I had been in a deep spiraling pit of misery that had been building for years. I had just taken on a new job that I did not want and had recently moved to a new town, thinking that this was just what I needed to get out of that rut I had been stuck in for many years. From the outside, my life seemed like I had it all together. I was a single, professional male who was making a good living and was a contributing member to society. I voted, paid taxes, and my only brush with law enforcement was a minor speeding ticket that was fifteen years in the past. On the outside, it looked like I had it all figured out. On the inside, however, my life was a mess.
I was able to juggle this outer facade of togetherness until November of 2013. By the end of October of that year, I was so consumed with depression and my addiction issues, I was ready for my life to come to an end. There were a couple of factors that happened in my life at this time that led me to treatment. I was hospitalized and in the critical care unit of my local hospital when a doctor came to talk to me about depression and addiction issues. I don’t remember her name, but I remember the conversation. It made me start thinking about my own mortality. When I was released from the hospital, I went back to my same old way of life and realized I could not stop on my own. So on November 2, 2013, I reached out for help and started researching and calling treatment facilities. November 3, 2013, I took my last drink and my last drug. I spent the night crying and feeling sorry for myself, sitting on the beach in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, saying goodbye to the two friends that had controlled my life for the past twenty years. The next morning, I boarded a plane heading across the country to Palm Springs, California, to start my new way of life.
When I got to treatment, I was not sure that I wanted to get completely sober. I am sure that I was not the first addict that walked into a treatment facility thinking that maybe they could teach me a new way to manage my alcohol and drug intake. When I realized that was not going to happen, the fear of failing at sobriety became a sobering belief. I was scared and not sure if I could do it. The first week, I followed the crowd and did what everyone else was doing. The second week, my mind started to clear and I began to listen. By the third week, I started contributing and believing in myself. By the fourth week, I was planning my future for the next thirty days to ensure my sobriety outside of the treatment facility. The education and support I received in the month of November 2013, continues to inspire my life and keeps me sober to this day.
In November of 2013, I spent Thanksgiving at Michael’s House, a dual diagnosis treatment facility in Palm Springs, California. Needless to say, I was not looking forward to it. To me it was just another day in treatment. As the day progressed, that changed. First of all, we had a tremendous meal. I spent the day hanging out and talking with other men that I had known for approximately three weeks. During this time, I noticed families that had come to visit their sons, brothers, and husbands, who were all trying to battle the disease of addiction. I noticed people who worked during the week (therapists, nurses, counselors, etc.) come in and spend time with patients, when they could have been with their families, playing games, watching football, and laughing and enjoying the holiday. Instead of feeling down and out about where I was and what I was going through, I remember smiling and thinking that this is what being thankful and living in the moment truly meant. Believe it or not, that was probably one of the most memorable Thanksgiving holidays that I ever spent. I will be forever thankful for that experience on Thanksgiving and all of the blessings I received from Michael’s House.
On November 5, 2015, I achieved two years of sobriety. I am very humble and proud of my accomplishment. I am thankful for all the people that have inspired me throughout the process. I am also thankful for Heroes in Recovery for giving me the chance to express my thoughts and feelings in my monthly blogs. I have been fortunate enough to meet and talk to everyday heroes that have changed their lives and are living and breathing testimony that sobriety is possible for anyone. Everyone associated with Heroes have truly impacted my life within the past year. This year, I celebrated my two year birthday in San Diego at the Heroes in Recovery 6K. I enjoyed meeting many other Heroes who came out and participated to help break the stigma of mental health issues and addiction. November for me will be more than the holiday of Thanksgiving, it is also the month that I give thanks for learning how to live and be present in my life every day.
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Much Love,
Bo