- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Faith
submitted by: Susanne Johnson
Reality? I’ll tell you what reality is. Reality can be being a needle and meth junkie for most of your adult life. Reality is being married 3 times, never knowing what real love is. Reality is losing custody of your 10 month old son after he becomes sick from ingesting meth. Being charged with a class A felony of aggravated child abuse and facing 15-25 years in prison.
How do I know that’s reality? Because that was me. The truth is God, and this has set me free and I’m no longer bound by the chains of my addictions! The truth is, I was unable to love myself or others until I met God, the center of my life. He is showing me what unconditional love is. The truth is that God spared my son’s life; He loves me and has forgiven me of my past choices. God is teaching me to be the mother he created me to be and we will be reunited in his timing. God is working my court issues out for my good and all for His glory, amen. Jesus said you will know the Truth and the Truth will set you free.
I was 12 years old when I first tried marijuana. I was a senior in high school the first time I did meth. At the age of 19 I began using for the following 12 years. I got pregnant when I was 28 years old by a meth addict. Only by the grace of God, did I only use a few times after I found out I was pregnant. I was already at 10 weeks when I found out. Praise God he wasn’t born addicted or test positive when he was born.
I did eventually have a relationship with my baby’s daddy. It wasn’t until after I had my son that I started shooting up. I couldn’t hit my self so it was always him doing it for me. After I was arrested I did 101 days in the county jail and got out on bond. I did everything DCS required of me. I did six weeks of intensive outpatient drug and alcohol classes 5 times a week, where I found 12-step meetings.
I hit 90 meetings in 90 days and did my book and step work. I got involved with the program and got my certificate but within four weeks, I had a needle in my arm again. So I relapsed. I was in and out for the next two months.
I will never forget the night of the last time I used meth. I told God, “If you will just get me back home safely…I am done.” So He did. I knew if something didn’t change it was a matter of time before I would go out again. So I left.
I had 72 days of clean time when I entered a program for women with life controlling problems called Women at the Well. I stayed there six months and two weeks. It was the best decision I ever made. I haven’t looked back and I am not going back, in Jesus’ mighty saving name.
I still attend 12-step meetings every month or so. I have never been to drug court, nor am I court ordered to attend meetings. My charges weren’t drug charges they were just drug-related because of what happened with my son.
We have a ministry here in town called Anchor Point that works with the courts to help people get into programs like WATW and Teen Challenge. I am very involved with it. They meet every Tuesday night. We eat, have fellowship, and pray. It’s mostly a place for the people who have gone to a program and are now home or of the families who just recently sent a loved one off to a program. Most are court ordered, I was not. You also see parents who are so desperate to seek help for their child there; we pray with them and, in God’s timing, the addicted person often hits rock bottom and seeks help usually within the next week (sometimes that same night). What a blessing to be a part of that and to give others hope.
Today I am 32 years of age. I have an awesome family who loves, supports, and has forgiven me. God has sent me an amazing husband who loves the Lord and accepts my past and loves me for who I am. Today I stay clean for myself, my son, my family and friends. I love the life God has so graciously blessed me with. I never dreamed or imagined I could have the life I get to have in Jesus. Today I work a one step program and that’s Christ Jesus. He is my rock and the center of my life. All things are possible with him. He makes all things new. Amen.
I was offered eight years to serve in prison, 100% believing God had a better plan for my life. I stood in faith on His word and truth that will never return void and His promises to me. He made a way that only He could make and opened the doors only He could open. In November, 2014 I was given ten years of probation. I could have been fined up to $25,000.00. I wasn’t fined. With only the court cost of $590.00
Thank you, Jesus, I have since then paid my court cost and fees in full, now owing the state of Tennessee nothing. I only have to report to probation every 3 months. I went to juvenile court on September 23rd, 2015 to be given more visitation time and will return on March 23rd, 2016 when the judge will have to make a final decision to give my son back to me or not.
God is faithful. Please join me in prayer for this matter, praying His will to be done. My son’s name is Jackery, he will be 4 years old in January. I’m forever grateful for the second chances He has given to me.
On May 25th, this year, I celebrated two years clean and free. Praise God, I cannot do it without Him, for without Him I am nothing. If it had not of been for His goodness, His love, His grace, and His mercy…I do not want a life without Jesus! My testimony verse I stand on is Isaiah 30:18 (NIV) “Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you: therefore He will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him.”