Break the Stigma
May I share a secret with you? I don’t want to have any secrets anymore! Anything that happened in my life made me to the person I am today. Some things were great, others were a pure disaster and nothing to be proud of, but I believe I don’t need to hide them in a closet or under the carpet. I don’t want to live behind closed blinds, lonely and isolated, as I was during my drinking times. My life today is fantastic and I’m proud of who I am. I’m Susanne and I’m an alcoholic and addict in recovery. Please don’t stigmatize me! I am not what I am; I am who I am! I am a person, just like anybody else, except I don’t drink or drug, so meet me and then decide who I am. Stigma hurts!
Addiction is a disease and it is nobody’s fault to have it. It only becomes someone’s fault if he doesn’t do anything about it. Fighting this disease by oneself is almost impossible, and addicted people need help, support, treatment, sometimes medication and a lot of hope and encouragement. Nobody can get this help by hiding in shame and guilt behind closed doors without reaching out.
Our society needs to change its outlook and give help instead of punishment. Somebody who is afraid of the stigma associated with addiction and mental health issues has a hard time stepping forward and reaching out for support. Instead of turning his life around, the stigma will drive him further and further into darkness and despair. The huge solid closed door called ‘stigma’ is holding people back in dangerous and unhealthy places, preventing a return to a productive life. Stigma acts as a total barrier to the future.
It is such a challenge to kick this door of head-shaking, ignorant, and judging people open that many addicts pay with their life for the inability to walk through the misplaced shame. Recovery is near, yet so far for the housewife addicted to prescription medication who pretends to be a functioning, great mother and caring neighbor as she tries not to lose her face. Recovery comes too late for the alcoholic who drinks at home in solitude, fearing the comments of family and friends, until his liver gives up before anyone noticed a problem. Recovery seems to be unreachable for the young girl with an eating disorder, who tries to cope with drugs and is too afraid to ask for help. There are over 20 million people each year in need of help who do not reach out for it. Many of them are victims of stigma.
I was lucky. I received help. I’m blessed; many die lonely at home because of stigma.
People in long-term recovery have problems finding a job. Why is that? They will sure pass any drug test at work. They are usually highly motivated and if they work their 12-step program they are very honest and mindful. You can hardly find a more reliable and responsible person for the job, but the stigma either will force somebody to lie on his resume about the gap he has due to his addiction and recovery, or he usually won’t get the job. People in recovery are at work on Monday mornings, like everyone else. They don’t cause lost-time accidents on the job, because they are not under the influence. But they often don’t get the job. All of this is because of the stigma and an employer not realizing the truth. What a jewel he tosses in the garbage can because of one honest word in the interview: “recovery”.
I am not anonymous. My recovery is real and it is open because I’m proud of my achievements in controlling my disease today. Don’t judge me for my past, but get to know me in my present to decide what kind of person I am. We live in modern times, not stigmatizing people because of their race, gender, color or heritage. There is no reason to keep that ancient stigma in our society. Addiction is an equal opportunity killer disease and it could affect you or somebody in your family tomorrow without warning. My life today should not be controlled by lies and hiding reality. I like to be honest and open about my past and be myself.
Addiction or mental health problems are not contagious. There is no need to be fearful. But stigma it is one of the meanest aspects people have to deal with in addiction. It is a primary, chronic disease of the brain reward system, not a moral failure or a behavioral shortcoming. The “war on drugs” made all people affected by this disease become categorized as criminals, leaving any medical and clinical aspect out of the picture. People with substance use disorders are often seen as weak; even they are the strongest people on earth as they make it into recovery. Even in recovery, people are treated with suspicion.
Please be advised that people in recovery are not second-class-citizens. They are as proud as cancer survivors, just as reliable as a diabetic, as responsible as someone with high cholesterol, and they are still vulnerable to hate-speech, bad words or rejection as anyone else.
Where did you face stigma in addiction or recovery? I remember my fear of being seen going to a meeting. I parked my car a block away, so nobody has an idea I attend a meeting of a 12-step-group. Hit “join the conversation” under this article and tell us how you experienced stigma. Bullying at the job? Didn’t get a job? Neighbors turned away? Looks in church? Whispers behind your back? You are not alone.
We do recover,
Susanne