Egomania
According to Wikipedia, “Egomania is known as an obsessive preoccupation with one’s self and applies to someone who follows their own ungoverned impulses, possessed by delusions of personal greatness and feels a lack of appreciation. Someone suffering from this extreme egocentric focus is an egomaniac. The condition is psychologically abnormal.”
Psychologically abnormal. Hmmm, that’s funny because in my experience it’s the most common ailment known to mankind. I guess if you throw the word extreme in there you could make a case for it but I think it’s most people’s “normal” far more often than we would like to admit. Be honest, do you know anyone who isn’t currently or hasn’t at some point struggled with this? I’m of the opinion that one of our primary functions on this planet is to learn how to break free from the quicksand of this self-preoccupation. We all seem to be sinking into and swimming through it, breaking our way free as best we can… but sometimes we’re just trying to keep our heads above ground.
If you’re one of my regular readers you’ll know that I love geeking out on definitions, so when I decided to use this title I thought I’d do a little internet surfing on the word itself. If you’ll bear with me here’s a little more wiki trivia before we get to the heart of the matter, “Egomania has also been linked with alcoholism.’ Egomania drives many young alcoholics…alcoholism-created egomania.’ A recovering alcoholic may well look back at the past as ‘the land of self-loathing egomania, and decay.’ The danger with the egomaniac is always that ‘underneath the apparent over-confidence and bravado lies a fragile personality’, driven by ‘grandiose fantasies of boundless success or power or perfect love’ which cannot be fulfilled.” When I read this, I knew that the basic idea for this writing had changed.
Folks, this was all from the same SHORT wiki, it was just a few paragraphs long, and the bulk of it was in the quote above talking about the alcoholism connection. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for raising awareness and perhaps this does in some small way. I also think most of us would agree with much of the content but I have a bit of rant to go on now. I found it somewhat disturbing that even though the vast majority of this world is ego driven to the point of illness alcoholics were the only ones that were called out. (Narcissists did actually get a sentence in there somewhere that I didn’t include, but just one.) Seriously?
We could start by adding every kind of addict that ever lived but it would take too long if we included everything that people are addicted to. We could also add nearly every behavioral disorder and most mental health issues but we’d still just be scratching the surface. We could of course get honest about it and add pretty much everyone who struggles with self-image or self-esteem, or wants to be liked or worries about what other people think. (Oh wait isn’t that everyone?) We could start a political debate very easily since our entire political system is on the brink of collapse because of the egomania on every side and at every level. And then of course I could just look at myself… And you could look at yourself… And we would see that it’s a challenge that we all face. Egomania is an epidemic. Which brings me back to my original topic for this month’s blog.
I can’t speak for all of you but no matter how much work I do trying to get myself together I always seem to be falling apart and finding more broken pieces. I’ve done a whole lot of studying on the subject. Studying psychology, studying spiritual texts and studying myself, only to come to the conclusion that my ego takes full advantage of every wound I’ve got. My codependency is driven by grief and fear. Something my ego thrives on, an opportunity to worry, to lay awake at night rehashing the tragedy of the past and projecting possible disaster in the future. My ego especially loves it when I get personally invested in trying to save someone, especially someone who doesn’t want saving, or trying to fix something that isn’t mine to fix. Because it knows that this is my weakness. It knows all of my character defects and all of my flaws – and it delights in using fear, shame, guilt and blame to take me away from the present moment.
The wiki is right. Egomania does drive alcoholics. They just forgot to mention that when we’re not spiritually healthy it drives us all. The only way to keep from driving straight into the ground is to recognize that we are spiritual beings and that we are all connected. We aren’t as different or alone as we think we are. The ego is fed by our belief in separation, and all of those emotions, experiences and desires that keep us awake at night are just mind games that increase our sense of isolation and disconnect.
I’m sorry Wikipedia but if we want to overcome the power of the ego we will have to remember that we’re all in this together. The human condition doesn’t single anyone out. No one is spared from the lessons we must learn on this planet. When we judge, and compare certain expressions of the spiritual malady we can’t help but judge and compare ourselves as individuals. That’s how we get wrapped up in whether we are better or worse than the next guy… and that my friends is ego. The mania would end and all stigma would be forever broken in one earth shattering blow if we could only remember that we are all One.
Help BREAK THE STIGMA by sharing your story directly on the Heroes in Recovery page and letting them know that Marta sent you. OR you can contact me through email [marta@heroesinrecovery.com] with your information and I can help you through the process.