How Do I Do It?
Someone very close to me asked me, “How do you do it?” My reply was just that, I asked, “How do I do it?” Eventually, I not only asked people that had already experienced what I was going through the same question; my question went to a place deeper then external depths.
On a consistent basis I began to ask whatever created the universe to help me. For me, that’s God. I found ways to do all types of things. I learned how to drink, I learned how to do drugs, and I sure as heck found a way to not cope with life. I took it in my own hands to try to figure out the answers. The bottom line is that I came up short. Every answer I thought I had turned out to be nil. Something about me could not handle being wrong. So in a journey to figure out where I was going wrong I had to depend and believe that whatever was guiding my life on this earth could unveil the right answers.
I had to be gentle with myself knowing I was not going to be able to do this perfectly. This was the start of something new; it took a lot of patience, endurance and willingness to stick with it. Time seemed really weird. There were feelings of confusion and uncertainty, which were a bit unnerving to say the least. Naturally, I came out of the funk and just like anything else that is new it soon became commonplace. Down to this very moment: anecdotes, tips, love, compassion, empathy and unity have all supported this finding.
I had to deal with a lot of past experiences to move forward. When the determination to do something else stuck with me I had to start looking to use a logical mindset to stay at it another day. I use all that stubbornness and resilience to gain some confidence by exerting these traits to do what I personally believed was next to impossible. It works! Being able to take all that energy I put into drinking and drugging and instead using it for a better way of living happens to me daily. I look at it as going against the grain and most that know me know I push against the grain, I always have. Now it is just a different perspective of that “grain”. I thrive for that next day. I see it as this fun challenge and everyday I get to conquer it. It feels good; I got sick of having a beer or a drug at the end of the day (figuratively and literally speaking).
Life is too short; I know this to be true. I was done kidding myself. My family was so tired from my continuous problems directly related to my active addiction. They are my biggest support. I do it with their continued encouragement and love for me and the person I am able to be today. If it weren’t for all the many people I get to know through sobriety I would not be here. The relationships with people who care about my hopes, dreams and ambitions are so important to my continued sobriety. Friends that take time out and truly want to get to know whom I am are essential. So how I do it is by understanding. I have what it takes because I really want it and it is obtainable.
Look at the beauty of life without using. If you stop and think about it, the better option may surprise you. Would anybody like to share how he or she does it? Is there anyone out there that is thinking about taking this first step and is worried about doing it? Are you afraid you can’t do it and why?
Thank you for continuing to read my blog. Also, please check out my other fellow advocate’s blogs! Heroes in Recovery is a movement designed to break the stigma associated with addiction and mental health. We do many things to support this mission including asking people to share their recovery stories with us. We also host various events around the country including our Heroes in Recovery 6k run/walk series. These focus on working with communities to raise awareness and break the stigma and motivating others to get involved.
You can visit Heroes in Recovery or reach out to me on Facebook and I can personally help you get started.
Godspeed,
Hillary