Milestones
Every event in life has an impact, every decision has its corresponding consequences, and every move we make gets us further into a direction. Not every direction is the desired path we want to go, but sometimes even detours get us to our goals. “All roads lead to Rome,” means that different path can lead us to the same goal. This sentence is based on the Milliarium Aureum, the “Golden Milestone” of ancient Rome. The Golden Milestone was a monument erected by the Emperor Caesar Augustus in the central forum of ancient Rome. All roads were considered to begin at this monument and all distances in the Roman Empire were measured relative to it.
In life, different roads often lead to the same destination if we just keep our eyes open and remain mindful about things. As in recovery, there is not only one specific form of treatment, or one particular 12-step meeting that may give someone freedom from drugs or drinks, but there are many paths available to take. Paths to desired success depend on the person, his lifestyle, his beliefs, his passions and his specific history. Unfortunately, still so many people believe that treatment or recovery is “One Size Fits All.” This is not the case. If it would be so easy, all facilities would use the same modus operandi to help you or your loved one and the success rates would be a dream.
Each addiction, each history and each person is unique— like a thumbprint— and each person needs highly personalized help and approach. Someone who uses methamphetamines to stay slim because of an eating disorder can’t relate to someone who uses the same substance to experience a high to escape trauma-filled reality. A person who strongly believes in God and is highly religious might find different reasons and ways to stay drug free than an agnostic. Fortunately there are over a thousand different facilities to choose from only in the USA; unfortunately this task can be overwhelming and for someone without deeper knowledge of addiction and it’s roots, almost impossible to make a decision about.
Using the right place and path is the best way to increase chances of faster success and reach of the first milestone, which can be either total abstinence or a harm-reduction depending on the personal addiction. But this milestone is not the finish line. Even the absolute right facility can’t wave a magic wand over someone and whisper, “You are healed. You now graduate from our program.” Recovery is often a lifelong commitment and engagement, reaching multiple milestones along the way. Just the more we run in a zig-zag course between those milestones and goals, the more frustration sets in and motivation gets lost.
The good news is that not every facility you might contact is a money making machine that won’t care about you. There are lots and lots out there that will treat you as a person, not as a number, and which will honestly refer you to a different place if they find that are not the right fit (after you describe your problem in detail). It makes sense to hire a professional placement specialist or interventionist to find the right place for you. Check that they are certified to do so, have experience, and are independent, so they suggest you the place you really need.
Perhaps in ancient Rome, all roads lead equally to the Golden Milestone, but not in modern treatment of substance use disorder. It’s best to find the best place right away to prevent multiple attempts, which result in high cost. If someone relapses after treatment right away, it doesn’t necessary say that treatment was bad, maybe it was just the wrong one for that person. But either way, recovery is a process and the process has begun once you enter your first treatment facility, 12-step room, sober living house, or community program.
Set your milestones for the future as soon as you come home from treatment. Don’t sit back and relax, as if your sobriety couldn’t be taken away anymore. Sobriety loses its strength if we don’t engage in maintenance. Your treatment center should give you multiple tips on where to go and what to do at your discharge and hopefully your center has an ongoing alumni program that will offer you the support you might need.
If you feel disconnected from your previous treatment facility, you can always enroll for free, at absolute no cost, with Life Challenge (http://lcaccepted.com/about-the-life-challenge/) and get help and motivation in reaching your milestones.
Don’t set your milestones too far apart. There is nothing more frustrating than a goal that is so far away that you can barely see it. Take small steps and give yourself the chance to reach smaller milestones more often in your recovery. A runner who just got off the couch and decided to run a marathon without practice will give up quickly if his first milestone is set for 15 miles. This is a distance, a goal, that takes way too long to reach. A runner should start maybe at 1 mile, then 2 miles, than 5 miles and slowly progress upward.
By the way, if you haven’t tried to run in your recovery and you get your okay from your physician, come on out and check out our Heroes In Recovery 6K runs all across the nation. Reaching milestones has never been so much fun before. If you can’t run it, you can walk it. If you can’t walk it, come as a cheerleader or volunteer– we need you there. Check out the dates and make it a milestone. You can do it! Link to Heroes 6k.
Change your course as a runner and in recovery. Nothing is asking more for failure as allowing your path to become boring. Switch meetings, try new things in addition to your existing support, change the location, make your run and your recovery interesting and diversified. See new roads and keep your interest alive. Recovery from addiction can be fun, healthy and active. Make recovery and reaching milestones your own little party. Go for the Golden Milestone of long term recovery with a smile on your face. You are worth it!
We do recover!
Susanne Johnson