- Friends & Family
- Mental Health
How long have you been on your recovery journey?
2 years ago my boyfriend and I started our relationship anew with recovery and well-being as the foundation. He is a recovering addict and the journey hasn’t been easy. Looking back on our journey, it was as much of a chance for him to grow as it was for me.
What is the biggest positive change in your life since then?
The biggest change I have seen is definitely in our relationship. We are much more kind and understanding towards each other. In the past trust was entirely absent in every aspect of our relationship; now that we have both taken steps to grow spiritually and in our recovery, our trust and bond with each other has never been stronger. For that I am truly grateful.
What led to your need for recovery (from substance use or some other issue)?
I felt like I needed to recover mentally and emotionally; for my own peace and my own sanity. Being with an addict was not healthy; constantly worrying where my boyfriend was, who he was with, and what he was doing had taken it’s toll on me in many ways. Another big reason I felt the need for recovery in our relationship is because there were moments where I saw the true potential in him and in us. Those moments kept me believing in him (and in us) through out all of the difficult times we have gone through.
What was the turning point for you?
I kept doing the same things over and over again; blindly trusting him not to lie to me, and every time I expected different results. I grew tired of the routine and knew there had to be a different way to live.
What is one important truth you’ve learned through the process?
An addict is not going to stop until they are ready to stop. Forcing him to take any help I was offering didn’t go anywhere, no matter how badly I wanted him to take it. He had to find it in himself to want to change. Once he did, the support of his loved ones made a huge difference on his road to recovery, and our journey together as a couple.
What are you most proud of about your life today?
I am proud of the maturity that all of the difficult times have brought me. I feel that I am now equipped to handle difficult situations and I am able to talk about them openly instead of suppressing them.
What is one of your biggest struggles in ongoing recovery? How do you overcome that?
Being around people who still have the habits that my boyfriend and I once had can be difficult to deal with. I have learned to sift through the ‘friends’ that could pull me back into my old lifestyle and frame of mind. It is not always easy to drop a friend from your life, but it had to be done to ensure the recovery of me and my loved one.
What part of your life do you find most satisfying since you have been in recovery?
The happiness and serenity that I have found being able to trust my partner in all aspects of our relationship. We have room to grow personally and together now that we have removed all of the problems that come with an active addiction.
Is there a truth or piece of advice someone shared with you that has helped you on this road?
“They won’t change until they are ready to change” has really eliminated a large portion of codependent tenancies and stress that I once felt when I tried to control the situation at hand.
What would you tell someone who is at the beginning of his/her recovery journey and is afraid he/she can’t do it?
There is help out there. Do not think that you have to do this on your own. Recovery is not an easy path, but one that is worth all of the work involved in it; you will know a new life of happiness and serenity if you stay persistent.