- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Friends & Family
- Mental Health
How long has your loved one been on their recovery journey? Are you in recovery?
My husband has been in recovery for a little over two years. I am not in recovery but I am actively working on my codependent behaviors.
What is the biggest positive change you have seen in their life since then?
The biggest positive change in my husband’s life is the ability to connect relationally with others as well as myself. Throughout his recovery we have become closer each and every day. Witnessing his growth and experiencing an entirely new relationship with him inspired me to seek help for my codependency and control issues.
What led to their need for recovery (from substance abuse or some other issue)? Your need for recovery from their disease?
Desperation and humility lead to recovery. He was desperate, broken and felt hopeless. He didn’t get caught, he wasn’t forced into a rehab, a program or meetings but humbly came forth and expressed his need for help.
What was the turning point for them and your understanding of what this was?
My understanding of his turning point is when he knew he did everything he could to quit on his own but coming to the realization that he couldn’t do it alone.
What is one important truth you’ve learned through the process?
I have learned that addiction is so much more than a person struggling with a bad coping skill. Addiction flourishes from deep rooted wounds or a mental illness due to biological make up or environmental influences.
What are you most proud of about their life today? What is your life like after your loved one addressed their addiction?
I am most proud of his selflessness! When he was actively using in his addiction, his priority was using and only that. He had ten months of recovery when we got married and dating for those 10 months were completely different than the three years when he was using. He is a responsible and loving husband and father! He absolutely puts our family’s needs and best interest first. Throughout his recovery he was been actively serving the community through homeless ministries and encouraging active users to get help.
What is one of your biggest struggles in their ongoing recovery? How do you overcome that?
One of my biggest struggles is missing him, he attends meetings five nights a week and sometimes meets with other individuals on the weekend for a couple of hours to encourage and support that person. I knew this was what our marriage was going to look like and I love our marriage. Some nights I want him to stay home but I know that my role as his wife is to be supportive and encouraging. I overcome those moments by reminding myself how crucial and important it is for him to be involved in meetings and serving others in his recovery because missing him for a couple of hours is 100% worth it for his sobriety and recovery. Without recovery, we would not have a successful marriage and a united family like we do now.
What part of your life do you find most satisfying since they chose recovery?
My entire life is satisfied, God has been by our side throughout this entire process and has protected my husband’s life and health. God has blessed us with a great support system, a sweet marriage and a darling baby girl.
Is there a truth or piece of advice you have learned from your loved one in recovery? Something you have learned through their process?
I have learned that it is healthy to work on myself and love myself too. What’s unhealthy is trying to fix someone else, although it comes from love and great intentions.
What would you tell a loved one that is dealing with a situation where they know a family member needs recovery but they are afraid he/she does not want it?
I would encourage this loved one to express his or her feelings to the loved one or family member without expectations; expectations can lead to disappointments. I would also encourage the loved one to seek out a support group and openly talk about the situation because addiction is more common than we think and it needs to stop being a secret.