- Drugs
My name is Gary, and for 25 years I battled a addiction to meth. I had experimented with any and all substances in hopes of finding a better me. I never felt like I belonged anywhere or in any thing, I always felt less-than and up until I tried meth I was lost. The very first time I tried meth, it gave me what I had been searching for: confidence and self-esteem. I finally felt as good as and even a little better than everyone else, and unfortunately that was the hook. I was 17 years old and feeling great for a change!
Little did I know how powerful that feeling and drug would be. For the first 20 years I was a functioning addict, using only on weekends and maintaining employment. Sure I would f-up a job or relationship from time to time, but I would always find another. Hell, you had to work to get high, right? Wrong! My best thinking fixed that idea! Why work and pay for the dope, when all I had to do was sell a little and then get mine for free? That idea didn’t go so well. Neither did working or only using on weekends, as soon I was using every day. I was using everyone and burning any and all bridges along the way. It took until I was 39 to experience any consequences that mattered to me. I had lost everything: Family, friends, children, jobs, freedom and self-respect.
I started over seven times to no avail, as even going to prison didn’t matter. I was using two hours after getting out. I tried geographic changes and six treatments of all types, but nothing worked. Finally my last bender ended on February 10, 2007. I was sick, near death and had lost it all again in a matter of one week. I decided enough was enough and entered treatment for the last time.
What made the difference this time is that I listened instead of being the star student and know-it-all? I kept an open mind, let others help me and became willing to follow suggestions from others. So far, six years later, it still works. I have not had the need to use any drugs or alcohol since, and I actually was asked to work at the place that housed me while I was in treatment. I have been employed there for the last six years helping others that are where I once was.
Life is great. It’s not perfect or without problems, but that’s okay. I have found a way better life now and do not have to use to feel good or better any more. I enjoy everyday good or bad, as thanks to God, hard work and a drug-free life all is well.