- Drugs
What were the struggles that led you to seek a change?
I had many struggles throughout my addiction. My family did not want to be a part of my life anymore. I hated myself and knew that my life was going nowhere. I didn’t have motivation for simple things like showing up to school or family events. I was ashamed of my actions and I could not stop using. Every night I would tell myself that tomorrow would be different and that I wouldn’t use and I meant that 100%. But when I woke up, I would use within minutes. I also had terrible legal and educational consequences.
What steps did you take to change?
By the time I got sober, I had been to seven treatment centers and I was only 18 years old. My legal situation was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I had finally given up and believed that my way of living wasn’t working. I had a counselor in treatment that said, “You’re 18 and you’re a full-blown heroin addict. You can’t get any higher. It’s your choice: you can die or you can get sober.” No one had ever been that direct with me. I started to listen to his suggestions and found a sponsor who took me through the steps. I not only had to get sober but I also had to grow up and learn life skills.
What have you done to keep yourself from falling back into that life?
For the last seven and a half years, I have stayed close to my support group and the fellowship. I work with sponsees and a sponsor on a regular basis and I attend a few meetings a week. I have started playing hockey again. I went to college and graduated. I take actions that make me feel my self-worth.
What is the single most important thing that helps keep you sober today?
It is knowing that God doesn’t put anything into my life that He can’t help me handle.
What advice would you give to someone struggling with an addiction?
I would let him know that there is a better way and that he doesn’t have to live that way anymore. If he has the opportunity to go to treatment, I would suggest that he go or try a group support meeting. I’m always a believer of “attraction” rather than “promotion”.
What were you like?
I was absolutely pitiful. I was a liar and a thief. I had lost all my morals and had no goals anymore. The only thing I cared about was how I was going to get high next. I was a terrible son, brother and friend. I thought I was a thug at one point, when really I’m a white Jewish kid who comes from a middle class area of Atlanta.
What brought you to the doorstep of recovery?
Drugs had created so much pain and shame in my life, and I faced many legal consequences.
How did you feel about getting to the point that you were ready to make a change?
I was terrified, I didn’t know if I wanted to stay sober. All I knew was that I didn’t want to feel the way I was feeling anymore.
What did you do to keep that positive change in yourself?
At first it was simple. I listen to my sponsor and did everything that he told me to do. Then, I started carrying the message myself. Starting college was also a huge part of my recovery.
What is life like now?
My life now is wonderful. My recovery is strong, and I still make a few meetings a week. I graduated college two years ago and work for a treatment center. I have a great relationship with my family and I have wonderful friends who care about me. I wake up happy and grateful for what I get to do each day!
What was the issue that led to your need for recovery?
It was my family not wanting me around. Also, I couldn’t stop using and I faced a criminal record.
Were there hurts in your life that you were trying to escape through alcohol use, drug abuse, or some other harmful habit? What were they?
The reason I started using was because it was fun. Then, I spent a few years trying to relive that first year. The drugs created the issues in my life.
Did you seek treatment or get professional help? What was that process like?
Yes, I went to treatment multiple times. My parents were always the ones who dealt with the process of getting me in.
What is the most important truth you learned through the process?
I learned that getting sober at a young age absolutely gave me the opportunity to start my life over and has shown me how resilient I am.
What is one of your biggest struggles in ongoing recovery?
I would say that I feel like a pretty normal well-balanced person at this point. Growing up can be tough sometimes and fear can also be a struggle.
What are you most proud of?
I am proud of what God has allowed me to do with my life, graduating from college and getting a job. Also, I’m proud that I get to watch the lives of my friends change in the program.
Is there a truth or piece of advice someone shared with you that has helped you on this road?
Yes, someone shared with me that God didn’t save me so I could serve myself. Also, I was told that sobriety is a fragile gift and it needs to be protected!
What would you tell someone who is at the beginning of this journey who may be afraid he or she can’t do it?
Early sobriety is tough, and things don’t get good immediately. Things may get strange, but everyone should give it a chance. Don’t leave before the miracle happens. We absolutely insist on enjoying life, and in my seven and a half years of sobriety the most amazing things have happened. Also, some tragic things have happened, but I didn’t need to get high over them. We need you!