- Drugs
I began my journey to recovery about two and a half years ago, after I got in some legal trouble. I was using some benzos and opiates, and I fell asleep with a gun on my lap and got into some legal trouble. I knew I needed a way out. I needed a way out of not only my legal trouble but out of my addiction, so I got into recovery
I recognized my addiction, when I started using opiates, and I couldn’t see a way out of my addiction. I got to a point where I thought death was the only way out of my addiction. I thought that the only way that I would ever be free of addiction would be in death. That was probably about three years before I got sober. I got really lucky. I got with a therapist, and I went to rehab and did 30 days. I am one of those guys that they call a 30-day miracle. I did 30 days in treatment and went to sober living. I got really into every aspect of recovery from the 12 steps to getting in the middle of everything and taking action. At first I did it out of fear, because I didn’t want to go to jail, and then I did it because I really liked the life I was starting to have.
After I got out of treatment, I went right into sober living, and I went there for about four months, before I got my own apartment. I had a therapist who was one of those guys who took you under his wing. I work for him now, if that tells you anything. If I didn’t have anything to do, I’d go over to his place and eat his wife’s cooking. He just took me under his wing like that, and it always meant a lot to me. I never wanted to let him down, and I got to a point where I didn’t want to let myself down anymore.
I was raised by my mom and my grandma. My grandma told me, “If you don’t get this right the first time then don’t ever call me again,” and she meant it. My mom told me, when I was about a year sober, “I didn’t sleep for seven years; I never got a good night’s sleep. I sleep now.” That was a wake-up call for me.
The 12 steps keep me on the right track. I’m really into that whole process. On the other side I do a lot of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, which I know sounds crazy, but it actually makes me feel better. It’s physical, and I have to take care of my mind, body and spirit, while I’m doing this. No matter how bad it gets, I don’t want to go back to where I was, so I have to take all the steps necessary to stay out of that.
I want people to try to take back their own life. I wonder if we could get through to more people about how good life can get. I always tell people to give recovery a try, because, when you’re addicted, the life you’re living is not life. I think that, when we are in our addiction, we are confined to small areas, because we won’t go too far out of our comfort zone. Today I have freedom, and I want you to go after the freedom you deserve too.