- Drugs
- Friends & Family
When I was 13, I smoked weed for the first time with some older guys. At that time I was searching for my identity. I’d always been kind of a punk-rock rebel while at the same time being ashamed of being “weird and different.” I was able to relate to those guys I smoked weed with and had fun. This led me into another world.
I had been an extreme-sports guy my whole life. I still am today. Mountain biking was my jam when I was a kid. I was an extremist, and I would get injured. I would go to the doctor, and the doctor would say, “Here, take this Vicodin.” This magical pill made the pain go away. Over time I didn’t mind getting hurt so much; I didn’t dread going to the doctor. I want to say I was 15 or 16 when this started and led to a dependency on Vicodin. During this time I was surrounded by older guys who owned houses and had beautiful girlfriends, cars, toys and everything I thought was cool. They made their money by hustling. They were selling everything.
I learned to sell weed to cover the cost of my use of it. Over time weed and Vicodin weren’t enough, so I went on to harder drugs, all kinds of different pills. My main goal was to party and have fun, but that “fun” eventually turned into dependency. By age 20 I was doctor-shopping and at one time had six different doctors I was using to get prescribed pills. My parents knew that something was going on because my behavior and attitude had changed immensely. I was destructive, and my life was in shambles. My behaviors were no longer in line with who I was as a person. I had stopped doing the things I loved. I always imagined being involved with sports. As a kid I wanted to be a professional mountain biker or soccer player, but through active addiction those dreams fell to the wayside. In my eyes the drugs were easily justified because they were prescriptions. Friends tried to help me, but I was unwilling to change and extremely dependent on the pills.
My turning point came when I got arrested with pills, cash and a 9mm. I had passed out in my car and woke up to cops knocking on my window. It was not an ideal situation for me. I was scared. My dad made a really good decision to not bail me out. He said, “Rob, I’ve been waiting for this phone call for so long, and I’m just glad it’s not the coroner’s office.” Spending 121 days in jail was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was enough time for me to go through withdrawal, experience pain, get sober and really start to feel again. I come from a good family. It’s not the stereotypical broken home. In jail I had a lot of time on my hands, which gave me the opportunity to reflect on my life, my past, my values and my beliefs.
In jail I made all the decisions I needed to make. While I was in jail, I started working out. This was one of the best things for me. I took a substance abuse class and parenting classes. I attended support group meetings. I learned about meditation, which helped me get to the root of my problems. After talking with my family, I decided to start taking classes. School started a week prior to when I got out of jail, but I have a really good support network. My dad signed me up for a full load of classes. Once I started school, I crushed it. I got straight A’s. I got my associates degree.
I’m the kind of guy who doesn’t want to hurt anyone. I consistently reflect so I will not forget all the harm and suffering I caused the people I love the most. I care about people. I love interacting with people and helping others. When I look at my behaviors from my past, I know that’s not who I am. What I did then didn’t align with my values or beliefs. I lived a very selfish life for about nine years. Now I’m constantly working on myself mentally, physically and emotionally. Growth is something I am adamant about. I am on a path to help others while still doing the things that I like to do.
After building a company with a few of my buddies, I realized I was pretty good at it. Now I help entrepreneurs build more businesses and become more successful. I’m working with some local universities, government entities and private organizations. I provide tools, training, mentorships, networking and even funding.
If you haven’t yet reached out for help, drop your ego. You’re not Superman, and you don’t know everything. In fact you are fooling yourself if you think you don’t need help. One of the best decisions I made was to allow the great people around me to help me. The greatest gifts are connections with people. Letting go of ego and getting help from others is important. Seek that support because you can’t do anything in this world on your own. Different perspectives help you understand things about yourself and life in a deep and meaningful way.
Life in general is just so meaningful for me these days. It’s better than ever. This is exactly what life is about. At the top of the totem pole of the things I value would be shared experiences with family and friends. My relationships are loving and caring and deep. The emotional part of relationships is the best part. Drugs cover what it feels like to have your heart attached to another person. I had no heart. Everything was disconnected. Today I have an amazing girlfriend. I’m so in love with her. I’ve been clean since the end of 2007.