- Alcohol
- Friends & Family
submitted by: Susanne Johnson
All her life Jessica knew her father was an alcoholic. He had trouble with it since his own adolescent years and carried it until he died from the disease. Jessica was 27 when her father passed away. She is originally from New Jersey, but resides today in Florida. During her youth, her family tried multiple addiction interventions on him, most of them successful to the point that he entered treatment, but he never managed to stay sober for a period more than a year. The number of treatment centers he visited was so high, that Jessica even doesn’t remember the exact number, but states that it is “somewhere between 15 and 20”.
Jessica believes that there is a “sober self” in every person as well as the intoxicated one. When her father was drinking he was obviously doing things or saying things he would normally not do, but she always had a good connection to her father and could deal with him either way. She believes she already had some of that therapist gene in her growing up that made it easier for her to connect and empathize, but still set strong boundaries.
“No matter who you talk to, most people know someone either in active addiction or early recovery, it’s a very common illness,” Jessica says. “Still the stigma prevents so many from getting help until they really hit rock bottom, and this is a shame.” She knows how difficult it is for parents and children to make friends when a loved one is active in addiction. She understands it from a parents view today, as she is a mother herself. When she was young it was hard for her to find friends because of her father’s alcoholism.
As she grew up, Jessica decided she wanted to be a child psychiatrist in addiction medicine. After shadowing another psychiatrist for a time, she decided that spending just a short while with a patient and prescribing medication was not the way she wanted to go. She felt her strength more in connecting with people, so she made a move toward becoming a counselor. Today Jessica is the COO of a wonderful treatment facility dealing mainly with young adults.
“There is always hope. Never give up to be the person you truly want to be. Recovery can be found regardless of what time you need, not everybody gets it on the first trial. Be who you want to be and not who your addiction is pinpointing you to be,” Jessica would like to tell people who have trouble to stay clean and sober.
Jessica’s personal goal is to grow the treatment facility from 35 beds to 120 beds and have a real positive impact on the community. “It’s a ripple effect”, she says,” you touch one life and it touches another one and more”. People often lose their passion when they start using, and it’s important that someone in recovery finds his passion for something back. “If you used to love ballet as a child, re-visit it today as an adult. Maybe you ignite your passion again. All those things we loved as a child gave us an emotional connection to and it’s worth trying them out when in recovery. Find your emotional connection again.”
During our interview I asked Jessica about any advice for parents who are dealing with children in active addiction and she replied: “I will always stand by your side and love you, but I will not allow you to kill yourself.” This standpoint would be very hard to take and follow through, especially for people without experience. “You need to tell them, that you care for them and love them, but at the same time set a healthy boundary for your own life,” she said.