- Drugs
- Faith
God is good! Sixteen years today, baby!
I keep a picture of my past to remind myself of my bottom. I started drinking, smoking pot and taking speed, when I was 12. I never really felt comfortable in my skin from childhood until sobriety. I put the pills down after overdosing in college, but I drank daily after work. Then I found my dad dead. It was September of 1995. I met a man, moved in with him and was introduced to crack. In two years I gave up my life, as I knew it. I gave up my family, friends, career and freedom. Crack almost took my life, which I was willing to give. On my darkest days I wanted to die. I knew I couldn’t keep living and chasing that high.
When I was arrested while out on bond for possession, I changed. I fired the lawyers my mom hired. I told the SA I was guilty and needed help. I sat in the county prison for three months. I had already been to treatment 12 times. I was facing 12 years in prison for 2 drug felonies. The judge mandated treatment. The treatment center was 75 miles from my home. I didn’t look back.
After 10 months of treatment in a residential facility, I lived in a homeless shelter. I worked two jobs, one of which was where I met my husband. Life wasn’t easy, but it was fair. Sobriety has given me many gifts. I have a loving husband, who I married twice. Our handsome son just turned 13. He is a good boy. He has always attended meetings with me and came with me when I shared with others in recovery. My husband and son were there when I met with the prisoner review board. My son was even sworn in and asked if I was a good mommy. They were there, when I was pardoned by the governor. They were in court with me when my records were sealed. They have been there through this whole journey. I love them.
God made a way for me and my family to move back home to care for my mother for five years, before she died. He allowed me to be there with her, as she took her last breath. For that I am so grateful. I let go of the guilt I had about not being sober for my dad or my grandparents, when they passed. I am going to step aside, and let God work in me. He isn’t finished yet!