- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Friends & Family
Submitted by: Susanne Johnson
The disease of addiction affects us in three ways, the mental obsession, the physical compulsion and the spiritual malady. Long before Jared had his first drink or drug, he already had signs and symptoms of the disease without anybody noticing. All the three problems manifested themselves in Jared’s life before he ever used a substance. A spiritual emptiness was always present for him, he always felt different and always sought acceptance from anybody to fit in. He recalls that even when he was only five years old, he wanted a pack of gum in a store until it became a total obsession and he felt he had to steal it. Back in the car, he felt that had to immediately show the others the gum, seeking acceptance to fit in and be cool. When he used substances for the first time at the age of twelve, he felt that all that insecurity, that loneliness, that fear and the worries inside him were gone. He knew at that moment on the spot that that was what he wants to do for the rest of his life.
His using and drinking progressed throughout the years and when he was in high school it got worse until he tried heavy narcotics for the first time at age 16. He was introduced to what later became his drug of choice: opiates. From there on, it was a downhill slope. “I was using opiates, cocaine, taking lots of Xanax or anything I could get my hands on. I was a trashcan-addict,” Jarred says. He was getting high every day before school, during school, after leaving school, after skipping school and after actually attending school. Things got really bad really quickly. “There was the delusion, but I was never ever in control over it,”said Jared.
Jared was first arrested at age 16 on possession charges and a DUI. He called his parents and evaded consequences, using his manipulation skills to get out of it. When he was 17, he had a lot of alcohol and Xanax one day. He was on top of a mountain driving and did some cocaine on top to wake up to be able to drive down that windy road. His car hydroplaned and he lost complete control and it ended up hitting a parked car and he got another DUI. The first responders said that there was never ever a parked car before in this spot. If there would have been no car, Jared would have gone off the mountain. “I can see the Higher Power present in my life, even during times I was using”, mentions Jared.
He describes his high school time as a disaster. He got arrested many times after that, was in and out of jail. His teachers regularly called his parents. His parents were in some denial about the situation, since Jared again used all his manipulation and justification skills to have excuses and explanations ready. They had no knowledge about the disease of addiction and always thought that all the problems were a behavioral issue. They wanted to help though and send him to Psychiatrists since he is six years old to get him help. Jared and his parents alike believed at this point that it was always somebody else’s fault. It was the friends’ fault, the police’s fault, the drugs’ fault, but it was never Jared’s fault. He sees today that there was never any manageability in his life during the high school years. He hurt all the ones he loved the most and remembers today his mother suffering depression an entire summer long because of him. But he didn’t see it then.
Time came for him to attend college and they sent him to Alabama. His parents hoped that if he were out of the house, they could at least rescue their own marriage, get sanity into their home, have some peace and maybe he would finally grow up and get over this when he was out of the house. They were still hoping it was just a phase in his young life and he would get things together someday. Jared went to Alabama and pledged a fraternity, which was not the best idea for an addict and alcoholic like him. His using progressed to an entirely different level. His addiction has already progressed so much that the dope was not working anymore and it was all misery, pain and loneliness.
College should be the best time of someone’s life, but for him it was the worst time of his life. He was alone in rooms full of people. His life got darker, but he had moments of awareness and reality.
He was totally lonesome and as he was one day feeling helpless and had nobody to turn to so he called his parents for help. They reached out to the student health center. This was before the college had a Collegiate Recovery Community (CRC) and Jared was sent to a Suboxone clinic.
He thought he was getting help, not realizing that all he did was substituting one drug for another. He also suddenly had suboxone pills to sell and trade. He was shooting up on a regular basis, yet stayed in this state in college for six months. His parents cut him off at that point. As a result of that he started to steal, and break into houses and cars to support his drug use. He had to act against all his personal morals and values to have the finances he needed for his addiction.
It caught up with him and he got hit with several felonies and misdemeanors. Sitting at the police station this time was bottom for him and he finally got honest, admitting without blaming others and he felt the complete effect of the spiritual bankruptcy going through his brain. He got expelled from the university, kicked out from campus and all his dreams of getting an education and a life were shattered. Two days later, he entered treatment and has stayed clean and sober ever since that day in January 2011.
After he was clean for about a year, he head about the CRC program, but he still had charges pending and was still kicked out of the university, so he did not have much hope of being able to ever go back. He has a 1.0 GP at that time, so he went to a community college to learn how to study and work and get his GPA up.
Eventually, the man who started the CRC program brought Jared in front of the university dean and Jared shared his story. The dean said that before there was no way that he could ever enter this school again, but now that he heard his story of recovery he will go to war for him. The administration board agreed and approved the plea and Jared became the poster child of someone who gets a second chance at this college. He graduated in May 2014. He majored in public relations and has a minor in computer science. “It is all because of my Higher Power and my program of recovery that I’m able to do any of this things.” he said, “I had a real great college experience in recovery and my college days were the best days of my life.”
He could make his dream come true and now works at a treatment center that includes collegiate recovery in their program. He helps other young people walk the path of recovery as he did. He shows them the way it takes to get an education in sobriety and how not to be a slave of the past. Jared is married today and very happy how his new life has been. He found his calling in his job and in helping others working the steps.