- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Friends & Family
Submitted by: Susanne Johnson
I grew up in Richmond, Virginia. My dad had three kids from his first marriage, then my mom and dad had two together. I was the youngest. Most of us have struggled with addiction, all in our own ways. Originally, my problem was alcohol. I started drinking at age 12. Later in life, drugs added to the issue in form of pills, weed, and cocaine.
My mother was an alcoholic as well. She got sober seventeen years ago when I was age 13. My oldest brother has been trying hard to stay sober for many years. He often achieves two years here or five years there before he relapses, but he never gives up.
I had my first drink with a female friend. My friend had a father with a well-stocked liquor cabinet. One day, her parents were not home and we raided the bar. I was a blackout drinker from the beginning.
In my teenage years, I thought I was crazy until I experienced the first withdrawal symptoms from alcohol. That experience at age 18 told me that my drinking was the issue. I had more problems when I drank, but I had more consequences when the alcohol was taken away from me. It became clear that alcoholism was the problem.
During high school, I completed a (therapeutic) wilderness program. In high school my problems were mainly behavioral; in college the issue was the drinking. Later, I learned that the behavioral problems were related to my disease. If I don’t work actively on my recovery, I get sick. I can be sick when I’m drinking or when I’m not drinking.
I’ve been in and out of recovery since age 17. I have attended six treatment centers between the ages of 17 and 25. In 2008, at age 25, I reached a point of desperation that lead me into the sustained recovery that I enjoy today.
I tried to figure it all out by myself during my previous treatment episodes. At best, I modified the directions I was given. If recovery were a recipe and it said to “add flour, sugar, then egg”, I would “add egg, flour and then sugar” and wonder why the outcome was not as desired.
I was sober from 2008 to 2009, but I got dishonest about my sobriety. Environment is huge for me. As they say, “if you hang out long enough at the barber shop, you will end up getting a haircut.” I met a young man who smoked weed every day and got high every day. I hung around him and became dishonest with my recovery family. I ended up using.
My relapse was short, but it was a relapse that occurred while I had a sponsor and sponsees. I was being dishonest at that time. It felt very bad about it all, but it made me more honest in the long run. Now, I will do anything to stay honest in and about my sobriety.
My parents tried so hard to help me in sobriety. Their efforts and financial resources were not wasted. Everywhere I’ve been, I learned something wonderful and it all became the big picture of my recovery today.
I could not hang around people who were drinking or using drugs. I could not go to places where I could get loaded in any form. Some people might be able to do that, but I know that I cannot.
I had to stay out of that environment. I loved to go to concerts, but I stayed away from them for over a year. Now that I have some time under my belt, have worked the steps, and have gained some more understanding of who I am, I can return to the music environment. I still don’t go by myself though– I always go with somebody who is in recovery like me.
I had to work out a lot of emotional sobriety during my first two years of sobriety. I had to learn how to handle relationships, work on effective communication and learn how to be a present and great daughter.
Sobriety has allowed me to live life more fully. I have visited Mexico, and I was able to spend some time in Thailand. Thailand was so wonderful. I made a round trip and also worked in an elephant orphanage as a volunteer. It was so awesome–a memory I will never forget. I just returned from Hawaii. The last time I was in Hawaii, I was seven years of age. This time I celebrated my seventh year of sobriety.
It seems like every year I learn a new life lesson or have a new life experience. In the last few years I have had to battle multiple episodes of sickness all the time– not knowing how sick I was because no one could figure it out. I visited neurologists, internal specialists and more, multiple times without any results. It continued to get progressively worse, adding more symptoms over time. I was always having a low grade fever. My white blood cell count was very high, and nobody could figure out why.
After my trip to Thailand, I became very sick and was hospitalized. They checked me for multiple infectious diseases without any result. By pure intuition, I asked to be tested for Lyme disease. I knew a girl who had it and it seemed to be a possibility. All three tests came out positive.
If Lyme Disease remains misdiagnosed or untreated it can turn into or facilitate other problems. We soon found out that I suffered from mercury poisoning, a thyroid disease, and an intestinal overgrowth. I’m sure that I only noticed it and got help because I was sober. I’m sure those problems would have killed me if I had been drinking.
Some days I’m in pain, but I thank God that I don’t need any pain medication to get through it. Pain medicine is not necessary; only my sobriety is needed. My sober community is giving me the support I need to go through all this. This type of camaraderie is only found in the fellowship of our sober community.
I spent the first six years of my sobriety with wonderful sober roommates. Today, I live with my beloved kitty in Orange County, California. It is the first time I’ve lived in my own place. I live in an apartment complex where several other people in recovery live and love it.
I’m a sober coach and life coach today, helping others thrive in recovery. It is my passion to help others identify their own triggers and reach a better life in sobriety. My goal is to get my health under control. And now that I have spent time in sobriety, I see my purpose to help others to heal as well.