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My name is Peggy. I’m a recovering alcoholic, and as of May 24, 2015 I have been be sober 14 years. I can honestly say it been good for me. It was the greatest gift I gave to myself. The day I made that choice for myself, I didn’t know God was telling me something. It is wonderful to be sober.
On August 27, 2004, my world came to an end. I found my only child was doing heroin. I thought, “Oh my gosh, what do I do?” Well I went from being a drunk to a heroin chaser. What a whole new world it was for me. I told my son, “You brought it into my world and you’re going to deal with me.”
I had no clue what heroin was. I knew something was wrong with my baby and I sure as heck learned quickly. Well the first thing I did was go to the drug dealer’s house. I was going to kill somebody. My two sisters called the state police on me because they knew how I was. I went through the door and there was a pit bull so I closed that door.
My heart still tells me I should have waited for the cops before going in. I didn’t know at the time my sisters called the cops. If I had not gone through that door, she (the heroin dealer) would be still with us today. I was out of my mind. When the state police got there they asked what was going on. I told them she was dealing heroin. I had everything I found in a crown royal bag and I dumped it out, needles and all. The cop asked if I could make it to the barracks. I was so beside myself. That cop told me this stuff was illegal. I stood up and put my hands together and said, “Sir, if this will make you feel like a hero, you can cuff me.” What parent goes to a state police with needles? Me. So he said he would take care of the stuff. “Good,” I said. Well, that’s where it all began. I became a heroin chaser.
God knew my son was going to need me. My son didn’t think so. I knew different. Yes I was helping the state police, but after so long I went on my own. I never felt so alone in my life. I was chasing heroin users and on the streets with a video camera in front of the dealer’s house. I knew they would call the cops, but I didn’t care if they did. Get out of my way because I’m coming. It’s been a long road for me. If I found out you gave my son anything, I was on your door. They were all running from me and they still do. This is my son’s life. Yes, he made that choice– I heard that but don’t care. Don’t you give my son nothing– tell him to call his mom.
My family and I found a treatment center in Richmond, Virginia, so we drove my son and others to Virginia to stay for a year and my son was clean for a year. I found my God. Ten years now, and my son has been in and out of jail for the last five years.
He won’t see me because of my actions. It’s hard, but it’s okay. I know my son counts the stars above that I don’t drink anymore because I’m sure I would have killed him and not had known it. As I told him, “I brought you into this world and I will kill you myself before I let heroin have you.”
There is so much more to tell. Thanks to Heroes in Recovery lead advocate Lisa McNamara, I found www.heroesinrecovery.com. Thanks for letting me share and I’ll be back. I could write a book. I would call it “Drunk and Heroin Chaser”. That’s who I am.