- Drugs
Start by describing the situation that changed your life or a loved one’s life.
My story begins in 2010. I was 20 years old. I had a decent life. I had a girlfriend of 4 years and we had just gotten our own apartment. I was in school to be a medical assistant and had an ok job. It was fast food, but it helped pay the bills. Little did I know working there would change everything.
Long story short, I met a girl there who literally turned my world upside down. I ended leaving my girlfriend of 4 years for her. It wrecked our home, and soon I dropped out of school. The only reason is because about two months after I met the new girl, we got so close that I ended up falling in love with this girl. It was so bad that it was more than I loved my girlfriend and enough to cheat on my girlfriend of 4 years.
Six months or so later, the new girl was introduced to meth. At that time all I ever knew was weed and wouldn’t try anything else. One day, I saw the energy and spunk it gave her and got curious. I said what we all say, “one time and that’s it”.
That first high was amazing. After that, we were constantly doing it. Another few months after that the lease to my apartment was up, and my girlfriend and I split up (biggest mistake of my life). I was head over heels for this other girl. I would do absolutely anything for her.
Time passed, I was going through jobs because I never went home and would always be late for work. And then my family found out through an anonymous person what I was doing. I would lie but they wouldn’t believe me. After that, I was gone for months at a time.
I didn’t want to be away from my girlfriend because I was so in love with her, and wanted to stick by her side no matter what, even if that meant choosing her over my family. The drug scene got bigger for me and her as time passed. I lost 70 pounds in 3 months. We were in and out of hotel rooms, houses of people we didn’t know, even sleeping in her car. I pawned $2,000 worth of my things for her, all for meth.
She ended up meeting some very popular people, and pretty soon we were getting high all day every day. And then, she started leaving me at random houses, leaving me alone in motels, dropping me off at friends’ houses for a week at a time. The drug started becoming more important to her, yet I was still sacrificing everything for her and still loved her unconditionally.
Then she started cheating– first with one girl, and then with 4 or 5 every other month. Every time I would try and leave she would do everything in her power not to let me. She threatened to kill herself, or she would be the sweetest and kindest woman to me and convince me that I was all she wanted. But then she would go right back.
By this time, four years had passed. The spring of 2014 came, and by this time I was fed up. My whole life just dawned on me, and I was constantly thinking about how shocked I was that I wasn’t dead from everything I went through. Also, the drugs had taken such a hard grip on me because of the depression I went through from losing my family, not having a job, and worst having a girlfriend who didn’t care about me at all even though she was the love of my life.
I remember the day, April 18th, 2014. I was with her and some friends, we smoked my last bowl, and I am not sure what came over me or what was mixed with the meth, but I suddenly became a loose cannon. I started yelling and screaming at her, telling her how much she ruined my life. I started punching her. I completely broke down.
The pain was unbearable. I decided I couldn’t do it. I was on the verge of killing myself. I told her to take me home. I didn’t want my family to see me like this, but I knew it was time for me to get help. I went home screaming and crying into my mother’s arms. My father and my step dad were also there, and I said “I am so sorry. I am done. I can’t anymore. I’m ready for help.”
Based on your situation or story, was there a turning point that prompted the need for change or help?
Honestly, there is no explanation of what came over me to stop. On my last day smoking meth, I just got fed up with it all, and four years of rage just came out. At that point I knew I needed help or I wasn’t going to live much longer.
How did you or your HERO get help?
Well, because I was never in trouble or arrested I couldn’t get into a rehab for inpatient treatment. Also, I didn’t have good enough insurance to help and my parents didn’t have that much money for that. I ended up having to do my own rehab I guess you could say.
I was watched by my family 24/7. I was with my sister at her house during the day because she was a stay at home mom and with my mom and dad when they got off of work. The pain and agony I suffered was by far the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life.
At that point I didn’t think anything could be worse than the withdrawals I went through. I suffered for three weeks. The advice and support my loved ones gave me helped me push through it. But most of all, the strength and help from God helped me the most. I have always a woman of prayer and I have always believed in God.
I prayed day and night to get me through it, to show me there was a better plan for me. But as far as help, I went through the recovery from home with the help of my family.
Based on your experience, what lessons did you learn? Do you have any advice to give?
The one thing I can definitely say is never do the whole “It’s only one time.” I was one of those who didn’t believe you could get hooked after one try. I can’t stress enough that that one try will be the start to the downhill in life.
Meth, or any drug, is not worth it. I gave up my family, my future, but most of all it ruined my soul and spirit and mind. This present time, I gained all of that back.
April 19, 2015, marked my one year. I have had to work so hard to be where I am right now. I have an amazing job, my relationship with my family is still healing but so much better, and I moved on finally from my ex and am now with a woman who is amazing.
But, I have to make up four years of my life. I don’t know about other drugs, but meth is so evil and disgusting. The things it can do to you can be life changing or worse, can end your life. I am so over man-made chemicals. I learned the high I was getting with meth is nothing compared to the high I have now– my natural high from how amazing my life is. Just believe in yourself.
If you or your loved one is in recovery, describe what life is like today.
My life is amazing. I have a great job, an amazing girlfriend, and my family and I are great. There will always be struggles and the temptation. To get through that, I remember what I have now and also remember how horrible the suffering was when I went through withdrawals. Taking each day at a time and remembering how strong you are helps a lot.
Is there anything else you’d like to share?
If the influence of drugs is ever in your reach, say no and walk away. You save yourself from a horrible life by saying no. If you are recovering or just beginning, you’re already amazing and you are strong! Let God take your life into his hands and follow the road to recovery. An amazing life is waiting for you at the end.