- Drugs
- Faith
Twenty years seems like a lifetime, and for some it is. For me, it is surely a new lifetime! Since the age of 15, I used and abused chemicals of all sorts, and then came that wonderful day in June 20 years ago when I finally surrendered it all to my higher power, whom I call God. I received the gift of sobriety at the altar of my church, which just happens to be called “Freedom.” And I really became free: free to live, free to love, free to be the person I am today. I’m not perfect—far from it—but I wake every morning thanking God for this gift of freedom. And I try to share my gift with everyone I meet who needs it. And then I pray that they want it. It’s one gift that you need to share in order to keep it. Some people understand that, and others just don’t get it.
My baby sister is one—a heroin addict since age 14, and she’s 42 now. All I can do is pray every day that she somehow finds freedom herself. I was always a selfish person— selfish and didn’t even realize it until I got clean and sober. So many people were affected, and I wonder now how I could have been such a spiteful person. The me of today is so helpful and caring, and sometimes I go overboard with generosity, but I guess I’m just making up for the 31 years I was not a good person. Now I can truly say I am a good person. I live right, I love with all my heart and I laugh at myself and my silliness, such as the times that I forget I’m a grown woman, and I run through a sprinkler while walking along, and I stop and play hopscotch with the neighborhood kids; these are the times I just do childlike things to make me and others around me smile.
If I could tell my story of what happened before—living life high and out of control—it would just be a story that so many others live every day. It would be repetitious and boring. It’s not anything I am proud of, so I choose to focus on the positive, the “afterlife.” . . . No, it’s not after, it’s the “new life,” the “good life,” the “clean-and-sober-life.”
I am a single mom of two biological kids, five kids by other mothers, and a handful of kids by other mothers and fathers, but they chose to call me “Mama.” I am a “Nana” to many, and the dearest to my heart is my God-grandbaby who has special needs. I am a friend to a select few, but my heart is always open for just one more. I am a daughter (to a wonderful woman who also is in recovery); I am a sister to four, an auntie to more than I can count on my fingers; I am a home health aide to some wonderful folks whom I care about like they were family. I have an awesome church and church family; I am a child of God.
– Karen Naprstek, 53 years young, 20 years FREE
If you live like there’s no God… you’d better be right.