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A New Life

I just got out of jail. My sister had been at The Next Door, and I looked it up
on the Internet; I didn’t want to go back to my hometown because I knew I could
relapse there, so I wanted to get as far away as possible. I went to Knoxville
first, but all my problems were too close by. So I asked about switching to
Nashville, and The Next Door said, “Come up tomorrow.”

I didn’t think I was going to like it at first. It’s scary at first to be
somewhere that you don’t know anyone, but it’s also great. You’re around new
people who are recovering addicts too. 

Here I can be anything I want to be. That’s
what I was looking for – I want to be better than I was and better than how I
grew up. I’ve been at the Next Door for three nights. It keeps me busy, too, and
I’m doing a lot of things for the first time. I went to NA for the first time
in years. The difference is that I really want to be clean this time around. It
teaches you how to take care of money and get a job. My roommate Sarah is
helping me a lot and showing me some of the ways I can change. She was asking
me why am I here. I want to be clean for the rest of my life.

I want to have a family and have kids. If my father and them were to die today, I
would have no one to bury. I’m trying to give my kids some of what they’ve
given me. I’m 23. I’ve been in jail for the last three years due to my
addiction. This year will be the first holiday I’ll be out. I called my mama
and said I’ll be home for Thanksgiving. She cried. My older sister is in recovery
and she’s helped me so much. She bought a car and got a job and just got a
house. I’ve only been here three days but I love it. In a few weeks I can go
out job hunting and I’m so excited about that because my last job was in ’02.

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