- Alcohol
My story is no different than most, but it’s mine, and I’m writing it sober, happy and with a spouse, children and one small Jack Russell.
It started on an Indian reservation back in the ’50s. Yes, I am a Native American mix. I graduated high school before going into the Marine Corps and Vietnam. This is when the drinking really kicked in.
I survived the war but returned changed. As a functional alcoholic, I married and was employable, but then PTSD symptoms and alcohol took control. The monster in me came out; fighting, anger, rage, and even spouse abuse happened. This was nothing to be proud of. I was totally ashamed and drank more to cover it up and escape the damage.
My bottom came in 1976. I lost a wife, two great boys and my self-respect, and I needed help badly. I finally had enough and sought treatment the first time. It wasn’t court ordered. I surrendered and took treatment to get control of my drinking. I returned home, attended all recovery meetings and continued treatment for alcohol and combat-related PTSD.
Years passed: three years, seven years, eighteen years and then twenty years sober. I am happy, and I know what to do to control my disease rather than let it control me. I remarried, suffered a heart attack, survived and retired after thirty-two years of work. I’d like to tell you I live in a perfect world, but there’s no such thing. There is only God and recovery. Life is never perfect, unless you live in Hollywood making movies…
Humor is the key to recovery. Rule #62: never take yourself too seriously. We are not getting out of here alive, and we do not take any possessions with us except our accountability and life path. Today I live the program. I am not perfect, but I am teachable and tolerant with myself and others. Recovery is not easy. If it was, everyone would do it. However most turn and fall by the wayside because they are not able to become honest and do the steps. I had to totally change my path many times and stay in touch with my creator who I call God. Recovery is not rocket science. It’s a simple program for complex people. Today I have 27 years of sobriety, and I live life one day at a time. One old timer told me, “If you don’t like someone or something in the program, accept it. Don’t do damage or try to change people.” Changing others is God’s job, not mine.
Willfulness, ego, intelligence and dishonesty can hinder your recovery. Just do the steps, put cotton in your mouth and listen up. When you feel yourself becoming irritable, restless and discontent, get your bottom to a meeting. Change. Change, or die. Recovery is like joining the mafia. If you quit, you die. It’s a lifelong journey, but, my friend, may your life become as wonderful as mine turned out. God bless and good luck.