- Alcohol
I lost my best friend. Or did I? For at least a dozen years, I associated with a woman that I shared my entire life story with and vice versa. We held each other up when we were down. We listened. We dreamed. We vacationed together in total harmony. We were both married and we had an excellent rapport.
We were social creatures. We liked to go out at night and sip cocktails and listen to music. This was our routine for many years. It was good fun. She was a more responsible drinker than I was. I tended to want to drink more than I should have. I would drink at home before I would even go out. When it was my turn to buy a round, I would down a lemon drop shot before I carried our drinks back to the table.
Almost four years ago, my drinking routine backfired on me unexpectedly. I had dinner that included two and a half drinks, after which I left a restaurant at 7:30 p.m. It was not a night that I stayed and closed a bar. I got pulled over by a policeman and blew a 1.1 into the Breathalyzer. I did not believe I was drunk, but I was taken to jail nevertheless. It was January. It was cold, humiliating and I had to try to sleep on a concrete bed with a narrow plastic pad and no coat, no shoes and no blanket.
I continued to drink. I started to drink at home, frequently consuming more alcohol. One day, I decided to stop drinking altogether because I felt like I was losing control of my life.
I told my decision to my drinking buddy. She was not happy or convinced that my drastic decision was necessary. She told me to just limit my intake. If it were that simple, I would do that. I deciphered that she did not want to lose her drinking buddy. Was she concerned about my welfare or her own selfish need for a friend to go bar hopping with?
She told me that she felt our relationship was lacking and she wanted to end it. I was in disbelief. Could this be true? Could she end our friendship without batting an eye? Apparently she could, and with very little effort. I was very hurt for quite some time until I finally realized that she was not really my friend at all, now that I no longer served her purpose.
I am no longer sorry. I am relieved, especially since I learned that she has brought other friends to tears as well with mean comments.
Good to the last drop? I don’t think so.